10 Things That Make Me Happy

Focusing on the simple things.

Almaty, Kazakhstan — Somewhere in the mountains

Writing today’s post from Almaty, Kazakhstan.

Here are 10 things that make me happy. Maybe this list can help you find some happiness, too.

Let’s begin.

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Coffee in the morning.

This week, the coffee options first thing in the morning have been a bit grim.

We’re staying in a hotel up in the mountains, so I’ve been mostly having hotel instant coffee. We’ve made runs each day to a local coffee shop.

I love coffee. Maybe that makes me a drug addict.

The buzz of caffeine in the morning makes conversations better. It creates an obvious energy within a room. It makes writing more enjoyable.

Caffeine is one of my favorite things — I just have to make sure to stop by noon so I can fall asleep at night.

Training Jiu-Jitsu.

I enjoy training a lot more than competing.

But that is an oversimplification, because my favorite kind of training is training for a competition. Having a specific goal to work for brings out my favorite kind of training.

This whole newsletter is about Jiu-Jitsu.

You guys know I love it.

Spending time with honest, motivated people.

You are a product of the people that you spend time with.

Your community shapes your reality.

As I’ve gotten older, I try more and more to surround myself with people who are not exactly identical to me (because what fun is that?), but with people who think about the world at least in a similar way.

People who are:

• Motivated

• Thoughtful

• Curious

• Grounded

• Self-aware

These traits are maybe not for everyone, but for me, they’re the foundation of great friendships, exciting opportunities, and unique collaboration.

My fiancé.

The most important relationship you will have in your life is your marriage.

At least, that’s what everyone tells me. I haven’t been married yet.

However, after more than 2 years with Mayra, I am grateful to have found a beautiful woman who is my partner in life, my rock when I’m in a hard place, and the person whom I love to woo and impress. Whatever life throws at us, there’s always a part of me that just loves finding ways to make her smile, laugh, and feel appreciated.

Traveling to new places.

The world is so much bigger than you can comprehend.

Within every culture, there are subcultures, and even those subcultures have subcultures. There are nearly 200 countries in the world, more than 100 million miles of ocean, and billions of people. You will never have time to experience everything there is to experience.

But hey, as long as you’re being smart about it, it doesn’t hurt to try.

I’m writing this article from Kazakhstan and very blessed that Jiu-Jitsu is going to take me to a few more new places this year.

Going for walks.

Sometimes, I get jealous of our dogs.

When they go for walks, they just run wild, sniff everything, and enjoy the outside. When I walk them, I have to pick up their poo, keep an eye on them, make sure they don’t run into the street with no care for their safety. It’s much more fun to be the walker than to have to walk someone else.

Silly anecdotes aside, walks are my favorite way to let ideas marinate, digest my thoughts, and get some light exercise and fresh air.

Here in Kazakhstan, we’ve been walking in the mountains every single day. It’s been one of the best parts of the trip.

Feeling capable.

In the early days of my Jiu-Jitsu career, I felt like I was completely lost and out of my element.

When I first started writing, I felt like a lunatic constantly tapping away at my keyboard and posting content into the void.

In both cases, I felt incapable of success.

This, I’ve come to learn, is not a sign you don’t have what it takes, but rather a side effect of being a beginner. In time, through repetition, you will begin to develop confidence in your work and your abilities.

Work long enough, and you’ll feel capable.

Books.

I love books.

Buying books. Writing books. Reading books.

Hell, even just going to the bookstore and looking at books gets me high. I feel motivated when I see a finished book.

Book writing is hard.

I practiced writing for 5 years, wrote a book for 2, and finally released it, and I still can’t admit that it’s perfect. Book-writing is kind of like training for a competition in Jiu-Jitsu, but instead of training for a few weeks or months, you devote years of your life.

If I live to be 100, I’ll have spent 2% of my life on A Grappler’s Diary.

That idea is deeply humbling and powerful to me. It makes me realize the true value and beauty of a good book.

Chasing goals.

Goals create pressure.

Pressure can create stress. Too much stress can be bad for you.

But regardless, stress is essential for improving your life, your motivation, and your resilience. Going to the gym, for example, creates “stress”, but this stress is not bad for you (unless you overdo it).

I just love trying to do things I’m not sure I can do.

You either will succeed and reap the rewards, or you won’t, and you’ll end up with lessons.

If you’re anything like most people, you are capable of more than you believe.

Writing.

I love reading books, but I like writing more.

Writing forces me to think critically, but best of all, it gives me a place where I can express myself. It gives me the ability to make art.

Writing is my job, but it’s also a crucial part of who I am.

I love competing in Jiu-Jitsu, but I am realistic in the sense that I will not be able to compete at a high level forever. One day, I won’t even really be able to train how I want to.

But the only thing that can stop me from writing every day is me. Writing gives me the ability to maintain mental discipline and continue training even when my career on the mat is over.

For many reasons, I owe my life to writing.

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BJJ Mental Models 343

The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!

In this week’s episode, we're joined once again by Giles Garcia, head coach of Ronin Grappling in Glasgow, to tackle the complex topic of living your values in Jiu-Jitsu.

Giles explores the challenges coaches and students face when trying to uphold personal and gym-wide values, especially in situations involving discrimination, safety, and accountability.

Giles shares candid experiences from his own gym, emphasizing the importance of fostering a culture rooted in inclusion, respect, and trust.

Giles dives into how values must be enforced consistently, even when it’s uncomfortable or financially inconvenient, and how both coaches and students have the power—and responsibility—to speak up when those values are threatened.

To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts, or just hit this link.

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Also published this week:

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