20 Simple Habits That Help Me Stay Focused

Everything is simple. Nothing is easy.

Mar 31, 2023

Having a good life doesn’t come from any sort of grand gesture.

It’s not (as I used to believe) about grinding till you drop, winning a shiny medal, or writing thousands of words. As much as I wish it were true, not even a chocolate chip cookie or a fat slab of ice cream cake is enough to make life “good”.

A good life is actually far simpler than most of us make it seem. A good life simply comes from a series of good actions — actions oriented toward a fulfilling and clearly defined purpose.

Focus.

A good life in this distracted world requires focus.

Here are 20 simple things I do nearly every day that keep me focused, fulfilled, and motivated to keep going.

“Simple, not easy.” — this is my motto right now.

1. Something humbling.

Jiu-Jitsu isn’t the only option for keeping you humble, but it’s a good place to start.

Getting your neck squeezed is a great way to remind yourself that you aren’t as tough as you think you are. You have limits.

Other great ways to humble yourself could include reading a book that is too difficult for you, doing sprints, or just looking up at the night sky.

Humility breeds character.

2. Talking to strangers.

Talking to strangers is a high ROI skill.

Trust me (someone who doesn't like approaching people ), you almost always regret conversations you didn’t have more than conversations you did.

The other day, I got to take a whole aisle to myself and sleep on the plane here to England, just because I asked the flight attendant if it was okay if I got up and moved.

My lower back pain and I are both glad I’m not painfully shy anymore.

3. Getting enough sleep

Poor sleep literally makes you more likely to die sooner.

Get enough sleep. If you’re not already, this alone will transform your quality of life.

4. Seeking failure reasonably often.

I try to push myself to failure in training at least once every single week. I try and reach complete exhaustion.

I also try to compete regularly at the highest and most challenging level I can.

There’s beauty in failing — once you get past your fragile ego.

5. Pursuing flow states over everything else.

People spend a lot of time chasing good feelings, and not a lot of time chasing flow. This is wrong.

It’s the flow state that provides the ability to create the things that give you those good feelings.

By chasing good feelings alone, you’re missing the point. Chase the struggle, and then overcome it. This will make you feel plenty good.

6. Learning more about ideas that make you mad.

Buddhism used to really piss me off. I wrote a whole article about why I hate it.

Now? I don’t mind Buddhism. I actually like some of it. I try and be mindful every day now, just like I learned from my Buddhism books.

Learn from me:

Don’t mock something publicly until you learn quite a bit about it.

7. Questioning your current beliefs.

How’d I learn to appreciate Buddhism more?

I read a few books, listened to some podcasts, and listened to some weird Lo-Fi videos with Alan Watts talking over the beats.

It made me think in ways I hadn’t, so I re-examined my personal philosophy.

8. Minimizing cheap dopamine.

I’m not going to say no one should have cheap dopamine ever. Find a different guy to tell you that.

A Big Mac every now and then isn’t the reason you’re miserable, fat, and unhealthy.

I just think you shouldn’t make a daily habit out of doing easy things that feel super good — like driving to Mcdonald's and eating Big Macs.

9. Strength training.

Being strong is essential for anyone who aspires to do, well, anything.

It’s also way simpler than you think to get started.

Get in the gym and move some weights around. This will strengthen both your body and your mind.

10. Meditative steady-state cardio.

I’ve been really into walking recently.

I started walking as a low-impact way to burn calories, and I’ve stuck with it because of the mental benefits of walking.

Yes, I get my heart rate up a bit. Yes, I burn calories.

However, the best parts of the walk are the anxiety reduction and the idea development that happens during it.

11. Reading paper books.

I love audiobooks and the Kindle app, but there’s just something about paper books that is great for my mind.

It forces me to be more present and more engaged with the information in front of me and the world around me.

I saw a tweet once that said “every man should have a collection of books”.

Let’s amend that statement: every person should have a collection of books.

12. Being thoughtful about caffeine consumption

Having too much caffeine is bad for your anxiety.

Having caffeine too late is bad for your sleep.

I used to drink insane amounts of caffeine to get myself through each day.

Now, I try and stop all caffeine intake after 2 pm. I also try to limit myself to no more than 2–3 coffees a day, no matter how tired I am.

13. Removing people that don’t align with what you’re striving for.

I dated someone once who told me that their “default emotion was anger”.

Shortly after they said that I stopped dating them.

14. Stop engaging in unreasonable conflict.

The other day, I posted a picture of the beach on my Twitter account.

I said that “Chicago in the summer is better than literally everywhere else.”

It was hyperbole—for a tweet.

Someone commented with a picture of their own beach and took the time to write about how their beach and their chosen city of living are way better than mine. They created conflict out of my joy.

This, I decided, would be a stupid conflict to engage in. I did not reply to this comment.

Save your conflict-engaging juices for things that matter.

15. Accepting that your best is enough.

When they fail, people don’t like accepting that they’ve done everything they can.

Because what do you do if your best isn’t enough for the desired result?

You’d have to learn to accept yourself as someone who has failed, and then you’d have to move forward. This burden is too heavy for many people to bear.

16. Having a silly goose time.

Most people take things too seriously in their lives.

Some people take everything seriously.

You should take like 3 things seriously, and everything else should just be a silly goose time. We’re literally monkeys on a giant spinning rock.

Relax.

Even if it’s not gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay.

17. Sprints

I try to get on the AirDyne bike and do sprints 1–2x per week.

It’s really hard. The other day, I almost threw up on that stupid f*cking bike.

I’m also currently sprinting in my life right now as well. Every weekend, I have something busy going on. Each week, all week long, I’m working really hard at my goals.

Regular sprints are a habit that will make you stronger, more confident, and happier.

18. Giving without expecting something in return.

I heard someone on a podcast the other day say “all relationships are transactional”.

I don’t agree with this. Some relationships are transactional, but not all of them.

You can just be nice without expecting something in return.

It’s just that most people choose to go the transactional route. Most people just want to feel good, and this makes their relationships feel empty.

19. Removing comparison from your daily life.

Social media is bad for you, but not because you get a dopamine hit when people like your post.

Social media is bad for you because you get a dopamine hit when people like your post, so you become addicted to using social media. You use it so much that you start comparing your life (on social media, not reality) to other people’s lives (on social media, not reality).

Your real life becomes a tireless pursuit of making your fake internet one look better.

This is bad. Don’t do this.

20. Creating a hobby.

This is a new one for me. I haven’t really had any hobbies for a long time besides the ones that I’ve now turned into my job.

There’s an audio on Instagram reels that’s trendy right now that basically suggests that the only way to be successful is to have something that “consumes your entire life”.

I think this is dumb.

The expectations that we have for how people are supposed to live are f*cking ridiculous. Hobbies are good for you. Anyone who says they aren’t is out of touch with life.

I’m working on creating some hobbies I enjoy regularly right now. I’ll share them soon.

One I love is traveling. Last year, I went to 5 countries. Italy was my favorite.