How Keith Krikorian Has Changed His Mindset

Guest post by my friend and ADCC vet, Keith Krikorian.

Photo provided by the author.

When you’re young, you often lose sight of what’s important.

I think that’s natural. Because we have so much of our lives ahead of us, we forget to enjoy the moment. It’s akin to the classic line from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” where a young Matthew Broderick turns to the camera and says, “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

This ideology is similar to my present way of thinking.

I no longer look at life like a race. I used to think I had to do everything that I ever wanted to do, as quickly as possible. Become ADCC champion, EBI champion, start a successful gym, start a profitable side business, start a high-profile career in sports journalism. I assumed I could do all of this during or at the very least, right after graduating college.

This just made me feel like I was speed-running life and constantly moving the goalpost. On top of that, any time I wouldn’t achieve my goals, I felt like I was a step behind where I should be, which would lead to frustration and internal conflict.

Once I stopped looking at life as if it were a race, I realized it’s more of a scenic drive along the coast.

Sure, you could take that drive solo, go 85 mph, blast heavy metal and get to your destination faster, but that’s all it would get you to: the end. You wouldn’t really remember the trip at all, and you might realize that you didn’t even want to get to where you were going anyway.

Conversely, you could drive with a friend, go 65 mph, stop for a walk on the beach or pull over at a lookout point and enjoy the view for a few minutes. You’ll remember that trip far more because it included many memorable moments.

The Holiday Paradox

There’s something called the “holiday paradox,” which basically says that we can slow down time by filling it with more memories.

When you sit all day, don’t move and just watch TV or scroll on your phone, time goes by. Before you know it, the day is over and you realize it was all just a blur.

But when you fill your day with different activities, you have distinct memories of the things you did. They stand out in your mind.

I try to do this with my life. Every day, I try to fill up my schedule with meaningful actions. I don’t have many days where I stay inside all day and sit. To me, that represents a huge waste of the gift of time.

I diversify my day so that many different things stand out in different ways. I get up and write or study. I get out and train. At the very least, I move my body. I come home for lunch and cook up something interesting and tasty and avoid ordering something that doesn’t require any thought or creativity on my part.

On a larger scale, I try to travel as much as I can, meet new people, ask questions, and have stimulating conversations. You expand your horizon far more when you expose yourself to different people, places, ideas, and perspectives.

All of these things are designed to make life more interesting and memorable, but also to make you a better and more well-rounded person.

I always loved Indiana Jones as a kid. A man who taught at a university one day, and traveled to South America or Europe hunting treasure or punching Nazis the next.

That’s someone with an interesting life. I try to be like Indiana Jones, without the commitment issues and fear of snakes.

How I Apply This To Grappling

This brings me to how and why I’ve applied this method of thinking to jiu-jitsu.

I get bored of doing the same thing all the time. Some things you can’t help, like work, school, or even your morning and/or nighttime routines. But there are plenty of other aspects of life that you can change.

When I was in school, I took classes that I found unique or interesting. Theater, astronomy, and even a class called “science in literature.” These didn’t contribute to my end goal of getting a degree in journalism, but they broke up the monotony of only taking courses related to my major and made me a more well-rounded student.

I do the same with grappling. I study and train things that I’m not necessarily amazing at. Things I’m unlikely to even use at the highest levels of competition. If I were to only train things I’m good at, I’d likely just spend every day working rear naked chokes and 50/50 heel hooks.

Instead, I study things like constraint-based games, closed guard, judo, and even collegiate wrestling, and try to apply what I learn to my training. All of these things are fun and make my study/training routine far more interesting.

As a result of this, I get exponentially better at grappling, and I have more fun.

Making This Mindset a Reality

I referenced earlier how I used to set very lofty goals. This wasn’t a bad thing. I think everyone should set goals for themselves that might seem out of reach.

Pushing yourself towards those goals is the only way you’ll ever actually accomplish them. And even if you fall short, you’ll have made yourself a much better and more skilled person by trying.

But you do need to manage expectations. For your own sanity, if nothing else.

Life is full of disappointment. Some people will have much easier paths than you. Sometimes you will get passed up for that promotion you know you deserve. But focusing exclusively on the fact that life isn’t fair will get you nowhere.

Instead, accept failure as an opportunity for growth. Know that just by trying, you improve whether you think you did or not.

I’ve failed more than most people. I’ve lost hundreds of matches over my lifetime. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I never see a loser. I see someone who isn’t perfect but is trying to become something greater than himself.

My daily goals are mostly centered around gratitude and mindfulness.

This not only helps me take ownership of every moment but keeps me focused on what I have to do to get better.

I love living this way and have no intention of ever stopping. A life of self-improvement leads to more fulfillment and less need for validation from external sources.

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Closing Thoughts

Hopefully, these concepts help you navigate life's ups and downs, but know that no road is the same. Some of the things I talked about might not be perfect for you and may not even be relevant to your life at all.

I don’t want to be that preachy dude in his mid-20s who tells everyone that he has life figured out, because trust me, I absolutely do not.

I do, however, have a good amount of life experience that has forced me to make mindset work and self-improvement a key focus.

My only goal is to share those lessons with anyone who might need them. If I can streamline that process for at least one person, it’s worth it.

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Today’s article was written by ADCC veteran, ADCC Trials champion, Combat Jiu-Jitsu world champion, and a very good friend of mine — Keith Krikorian.

Keith also just started his own Substack and I highly recommend you subscribe.

I’ve had the privilege of learning from Keith in conversation over the last 3 years and I’m really excited that he’s finally sharing more of his ideas with the world.

Again, subscribe to the man’s Substack. You won’t regret it.

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