How to Stay Focused
The skill of staying on track.
The last 16 days have been the most boring days of my life in quite some time.
It’s been wonderful.
I came home 2 weeks ago from 35 straight days of traveling to an apartment that didn’t work (the city of Austin had shut off my power), I was in less than ideal shape from several weeks of irregular training, and I was extremely stressed because I hadn’t really been working. The fact that I’d managed to keep this newsletter full of regular content during my travels was nothing short of a miracle.
But now that I’ve settled back into a routine, the productivity I’ve had has been quite addicting.
I have a structured day. I’m sleeping better because I wake up and go to bed at the same time each day. I’m making a lot of progress in Jiu-Jitsu, both technically and in terms of my cardio. I’m writing a lot — 3000+ words per day.
It’s great — sort of.
The problem with routine is the beauty of routine.
I chose the picture of me in Venice for this article because lately, part of me has longed to be traveling in Europe again.
Despite realizing a few months ago the “problems” with traveling, it’s still something I fantasize about. I love it. Travel brings me joy.
I love the experience of being in a new city, trying a new cuisine, exploring, and interacting with people who come from completely different life experiences than I do. I also love the little things about travel, like sitting in a foreign cafe drinking a cappuccino and wishing they had regular drip coffee and half and half.
What can I say? I like what I like.
Anyway, as a result of this wanderlust that I developed in my early 20s, I structured my life around being able to travel all the time. I got an online, irregular job. I lived frugally. I went on frequent adventures.
I write about a lot of them here.
But there are problems with travel, just like there are problems with routine.
Travel makes it easier to acquire new experiences, but a steady routine makes it easier to acquire new skills.
This is the dichotomy.
In my opinion, a good life has both. Yin and yang. Routine and travel. Order and chaos.
But that’s not the problem for me.
For me, the problem is sustained focus over long periods.
Not everyone can stay focused.
When I was younger, I thought that I wanted to “travel the world”.
In reality, I think I was running from something. I love travel, but I don’t want to go everywhere. I want to go to a few cool places — sometimes.
What I really think is that go to the idea of travel for comfort when I fear getting stuck into a routine that I don’t want.
Right now, for example, I am pushing myself very hard. I am writing 3000+ words per day, lifting weights, training Jiu-Jitsu with some of the best grapplers in the world, and side-hustling my way to trying to pay rent in Austin each month. It is a grind, and although I’m slowly making it work, I couldn’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life. I would burn out and break down.
When I feel that burnout or impending breakdown, I start fantasizing about a stress-free life. I fantasize about being on the road with my lovely girlfriend in Europe again. I fantasize about the cafes, the restaurants, and the old, rustic buildings in Europe. I fantasize about the beautiful bookstore in Venice in the picture above — despite the fact when I was there, I couldn’t read any of the books because they were all in Italian.
When I think about my desire to travel carefully, I realize that these cravings for action and adventure are not always genuine. Sometimes, they are simply my focus slipping. Sometimes, I just want a break despite being in a spot where I need to focus.
And the thing is, focus, like Dan Koe has written about in his new book, The Art of Focus, is a lost art in today’s world.
We are the most distracted society of all time.
Right now, for example, I’m in a period of my life where a great deal of focus and work is required.
The problem is that you and I live in the most distracted society ever created.
Thanks to our phones, social media, the internet, and more, most people today live most of their lives avoiding becoming who they can be and instead watching TikToks, Instagram reels, and “consuming content”.
They are just living. They probably call it “living in the moment” but they don’t even know what the moment is.
I am not free from this. I, at times, am the most distracted person I know. I crave travel when I’m procrastinating productivity. I crave rest when I am procrastinating work. I crave comfort when I am procrastinating the discomfort required to grow.
So again…
How do you stay focused?
Here’s what I think:
Focus is all about momentum.
Focus, like Jiu-Jitsu, fitness, or writing, is a skill. If you want to build the skill, then you need to build 2 sub-skills:
The skill of focused action.
The skill of getting back on the focus train when you fall off it.
Just like anything you want to build, the skill of focus is built through training.
The best way to “train” this I think is meditation. Simply sit in a chair, lay on your bed, or relax on a cushion, and focus on your breathing. When you focus on your breathing, you are building skill 1.
When you inevitably get distracted, you are building skill 2.
Can you get yourself back together when you lose momentum?
Nowadays, although I hate skipping a day of work, training, or lifting, if I do (life happens), I am very confident in my ability to minimize the damage by getting back to work.
Other good ways to train focus are:
reading books
journaling
making to-do lists (I’ve found as someone with ADHD that writing everything down is essential)
following a gym routine
Closing Thoughts
You can’t just spend your whole life traveling the world, drinking coffee in foreign cafes, and sipping wine in foreign bars all day long.
But you can still experience that kind of stuff in your life.
For me, the fantasy that I escape to when I lose focus is Europe.
For others, it’s a local bar up the street from them. For some people, it’s a beach in Mexico. Some people crave watching Netflix and ordering a pizza.
We all fantasize about “escaping” when life gets hard.
But you can never truly escape your mind. Wherever you go (and whatever you do), there you are.
What it all comes down to is balance. The way you stay focused is balance. Presence.
Be present, focused, and routine now, so when the time of non-focus comes (I’ll be in Europe in a few weeks with my girlfriend competing, traveling, and sippin’ on them cappuccinos in them Spanish cafes) you can enjoy the freedom completely.
You can be focused on not being “focused”.
"Nothing happens, then everything happens." — Dan Koe
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