The Single Most Exciting Fact About Anxiety
I'm so fired up. And scared. What's the difference?
I have an intense love-hate relationship with scary things.
Even inconsequential scary things, like horror movies.
Several weeks out from a major Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournament like the world championships, I usually am so excited that I can’t stop talking about Jiu-Jitsu. I’m a blabbermouth about how awesome Jiu-Jitsu is and how much fun I have when I’m competing.
In the weeks before a big tournament, I look like the person in the picture above — happy, outgoing, a little tired, and full of bad jokes and finger guns. The only difference is that nowadays, I sport a bleach-blonde mullet instead of a “bro fade”.
However, several days before my tournaments, something changes. I become a different person. By the time I step onto the mat to compete, I’m hardly myself.
In the past, this was a bad thing. For years, performance anxiety ruined my competitive experience.
No matter how many times I listened to that one Eminem song, my palms were always sweaty. Knees weak. Arms heavy. I couldn’t eat anything and I wasn’t wearing a sweater, but the physical symptoms of my anxiety made it impossible to reach my potential.
I could never get out of my head, and anxiety ruled my life. My life itself wasn’t bad, but it didn’t matter and I couldn’t see that, because I was trapped in my mind’s safe but miserable prison.
That was until I learned that anxiety isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, neurologically, anxiety and excitement are basically the same.
Nowadays, when I step out to compete, I’m a shadow of myself in all the best ways.
Are You Really Anxious? Or Are You Just Really Excited?
If this fact about anxiety doesn’t blow your mind, that’s okay. Every time I study this, my mind is blown open wide enough for both of us.
I always thought of anxiety as a very negative experience and excitement as a very positive experience, but according to your brain, they’re the same. Both emotions elevate your cortisol levels. Both emotions increase your heart rate. Both emotions make you have physical symptoms like sweaty palms.
Both are emotions caused by arousal.
For instance, last week, when I was competing in the Jiu-Jitsu world championships in California, I was incredibly anxious and excited at the same time.
I was anxious because it was the world championships and I wanted to not suck in front of everyone, but I was excited because I was in California with my friends and it was the world championships. I had the opportunity to show the entire Jiu-Jitsu world everything that I’ve been working on for the last few months.
It was a very exciting and very nerve-wracking experience.
So, which emotion dominated my experience?
I didn’t become a world champion last weekend (I finished in the top 8), but excitement was still the emotion that dominated most of my experience on the competition mats last weekend. Because of that, a possible negative experience ended up becoming an overwhelmingly positive one.
The difference between anxiety and excitement is the story that you are living in.
This also doesn't invalidate your anxiety. Anxiety is still very real, and it still really sucks. I know that from experience.
If you’re living in a crappy story or a scary experience, anxiety is a natural feeling. It’d be kind of twisted if you were excited about the possibility of getting rejected by your crush or getting chased by a mugger.
However, your brain chemistry still doesn’t know the difference between anxiety and excitement.
Because of this fact, you can actually hack your brain to improve your experience and ultimately decrease your anxiety. If you, like me, struggle with anxiety, this is the coolest fact in the whole freakin’ universe.
When you’re experiencing something negative, you can train yourself to channel your energy into something positive. If you’re anxious about your crush, don’t try to calm down, try to do something that will change the experience from an anxious one to an excited one.
You can still feel like shit about a negative situation and be excited about something else. When I feel anxious because my body is physically breaking from the onslaught of martial arts training I put myself through, I make an effort to get excited about growing as a writer or becoming mentally stronger. I create a story that distracts me from the anxiety I feel until the sensation passes (and it will always pass).
Anxiety gives you increased energy. Use that energy for progress, not rumination.
Closing Thoughts
Learning to channel your anxious feelings into excited ones is one of the few psychological superpowers that can actually change your life.
It’s okay if you’re not always successful with changing your anxiety into excitement, but the effort of trying to do so will help you build the strength to overcome your anxiety eventually. Anxiety is a neurological response to the world around you that is sometimes paired with physical symptoms. By fighting the physical symptoms, you often make them worse.
Stop trying to “calm down”. Start trying to listen to your body. Start trying to flow with the energy your mind is giving you.
That’s hippie speak for “let go”.
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You Don’t Need a New Year’s Resolution
4 Lessons I Learned From the 2021 IBJJF World Championships (the Medium version of my email from Tuesday)
How I Lost 17 Pounds In 3 Weeks
Most People Never Learn To Quit These 10 Bad Habits
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Wishing you the best,
—Chris