The Eternal Fulfillment of a Risk-Takers Mind
On the highs and the lows.
2023 has been the most challenging year that I’ve had in a long time.
Injuries, failures, endless hours on the road, moving, and more. It’s been a lot. Professionally, it’s been the toughest year I’ve had since I started doing “my own thing” 3 years ago. Personally, it’s been tough too.
I’ve lost 10s of thousands of dollars, stability in some of my ligaments, and if I’m honest, probably years of my life from all of the stress that I’ve put myself through. I’ve gotten sick more than ever this year. In some ways, I’ve regressed from where I was a few years ago.
I’ve burned away much of the person that I used to be, and in doing that I burned some good away as well.
When I say that, from the outside, this harsh truth likely makes it seem like this year has been “terrible” for me. Like it’s been all losses and pain and suffering. Like I view myself as Jesus nailing myself to the cross of my self-development.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
This year has been very good at times and very bad at times. It’s had a lot of “duality”.
Spinning the wheel.
When I zoom out, start to get the feeling I’m lucky to have the opportunity to “lose everything”.
Losing money sucks, but at least there was money to lose. Leaving somewhere you’ve called home for a long time sucks, but at least there was a new horizon worth chasing. At least you had the courage to try something different.
At least you weren’t cowering within the comfort of your own boredom.
When you move cities, at first you want everything to be “the same, but different”. You want to maintain a close connection with everyone you did at your old spot. You want the transition to be seamless. You want it to all work exactly how you want it, and most of the time, it doesn’t.
You lose things when you move. You lose people, routines, connections, cash, opportunities, and more. When it happens, this hurts, but it creates the opportunity to open yourself up to new experiences and journeys.
It’s corny, but the truth is corny sometimes.
Change is one of the only constants in life, but it’s also the one that people seem to fight the most. We want the comfort of our routine, even if it sucks. People prefer good things to bad things.
With Jiu-Jitsu, when we compete, most of us want to win all the time. We want to have no bad days. We want to be perfect. I know that I would prefer to be undefeated than how I am — sometimes defeated.
However, the truth is that for pretty much everyone who competes in Jiu-Jitsu or does anything else that has an inherent element of risk, there will be good days and bad days.
Neither the good nor the bad define you, but it all impacts you.
You don’t want it to, but it does.
Losing people sucks. Losing money sucks. Losing sucks. Period.
The silver lining.
Now that I’m training at a gym that’s known for its ability to come in second, I figured I’d tell you about the “silver lining” of all the risks that I’ve taken this year.
Whether it’s with moving, competing in Jiu-Jitsu, starting a new relationship, or doing anything else in your life where risk is involved, there’s always the risk that you can fail.
The greater the risk, the more likely you are to lose more. You can lose everything.
But, if we’re being completely honest, that’s kind of the fun of it. The lows this year for me have been low, but the highs have been even higher than I could have ever imagined. I’ve taken a lot of risks, made a lot of strides, and worked myself as hard as I possibly can.
That, I believe, is what “living” really is.
“The meaning of life is that it is to be lived, and it is not to be traded and conceptualized and squeezed into a patter of systems.” — Bruce Lee
Routine is nice, but at a certain point, it detracts from your ability to experience life fully. At a certain point, you’re not too different from a machine.
You’re not supposed to be a disciplined robot systemizing and following systems on a linear pattern until you die. You’re supposed to have the highs and the lows.
That’s where fulfillment comes from.
Closing Thoughts
Linear progress is an illusion.
The truth is that even when we’re doing everything right, being disciplined, and staying “on the path”, there are always going to be micro-highs and lows along the way.
Sometimes in life, you feel these highs and lows more pronounced.
Moving to a new place can be both a low and a high. Getting a new belt in Jiu-Jitsu can be a high that leads to lows (getting beat up at a new belt). Peaking for competition inevitably leads to valleys down the road.
There is order and there is chaos. Yin and yang. Good and bad.
That’s the game.
If you’re on a high, remember to enjoy it because it probably won’t last forever.
If you’re going through a low right now, just remember, there’s probably a high right around the corner.
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