The Future Freaks Me Out
The pros and cons of trying.
I’ve realized recently that if I wanted a stress-free life, I probably should have chosen a career that was not based on my ability to submit people in grappling matches.
Whether things are going well or things are not going well, life in this world is always going on. It’s always really busy, it’s always pretty crazy, and sometimes I feel like I’m just holding on for dear life.
Welcome to professional Jiu-Jitsu. It’s fast, exciting, and gone before you know it.
It can be hard to rest, and there’s rarely a break. When there is a break, it is usually filled with anticipation of what is to come.
I do a lot of mental preparation and training for my mental health, but no matter what I do, there’s one thing that I cannot seem to get past:
The Future Freaks Me Out.
Today, we’re talking about anticipation, opportunities, and how to stay calm and focused through the storm.
Remember that anxiety and excitement are the same thing.
I sometimes feel like I am genetically predisposed to losing.
I’m naturally a pretty anxious person. It’s genetic. Everyone in my family struggles with anxiety in some way or another.
I doubt myself, I get in my head, and I sometimes self-sabotage without realizing it. I make dumb mistakes because I have anxiety.
For the longest time, I thought that this anxiety was a weight that was pulling me down and making me unable to perform at the highest level.
Then, I learned an astounding fact about anxiety:
Anxiety and excitement are the same feeling in your brain. The difference is the narrative attached to them.
We all know the physical feelings attached to anxiety:
Jitters
Inability to sleep
Sweaty palms
Butterflies in your stomach
Increased heart rate
But you know what’s funny?
Being excited about something generates the same sensations in your body.
When you understand the anxiety/excitement reframe, you can start to understand yourself a lot better.
Focus more on the craft than the opportunities.
For me, a lot of my anxiety/excitement comes from the opportunities in my sport (or the lack thereof).
Things like seminar opportunities, matches, competitions, and travels.
All of these are part of what I love most about what I get to do, so it’s pretty natural that I would feel nervous about them.
But here’s the kicker:
All of these opportunities do not come from magic. I don’t get to compete because of magic.
Sure, I’ve had a few lucky breaks along the way in my career, but there have been so many hours of hard work, failures, and moments where I’ve pushed against the universe’s messages that I should give up that it’s really hard in hindsight to tell what was what.
In hindsight, the only thing that really makes sense is the dedication. The obsession with being better than I was yesterday. The relentless pursuit of being the best version of myself.
When everything feels out of your control, double down on what you can control. Double down on your hard work.
Remain grateful.
If God’s real, he must be looking out of me.
The people that he has put in my life, the opportunities, the love, all of these things.
Here are a few things that I think about that keep me grateful for what I’ve already had:
The idea that it could all be taken away at any moment
How much I’ve put into getting here
The memories that I’ve been given along the way
The friendships and love that I have been gifted
The idea of looking back on all of this when I’m 75 years old
The point I’m trying to make is that in any endeavor, it’s really easy to get caught up. To think short term.
When I’m 75 and probably dealing with a lot more back pain than I have to deal with now, I will not be thinking too much about specific matches, drama, instructional sales, or sponsorships, I’ll just be thinking about how cool it was that I got to train and compete in Jiu-Jitsu at what at the time, was the highest level of the sport.
I’ll have a lot of cool stories to tell my grandkids.
I’ll also be able to tell them that their grandpa gave it his very best.
That’s something to be proud of, I think.
Closing Thoughts
I wrote this article because sometimes, the future freaks me out.
The future freaks most of us out sometimes. Nearly all of us get anxiety about something.
It’s important to remember that trying to do anything well means caring, and caring often means worrying.
Just don’t let your worries take away the beauty of what you’re doing. Don’t get so caught up in your worries that you let the moments slip away from you.
I remember back a few years ago, during a weight cut to 170, I kept thinking about how I “just wanted this to be over”. I wanted to fast forward to a time when I was older and life was easier.
But that’s not how it works. The funny thing is that I’m sure if I fast-forwarded to my older self, I’d be reminiscing, wishing I were my younger self.
So that’s why I wrote this article.
I wanted to remind myself (and hopefully you as well) that right now is the good old days. Don’t wish for today to be over just because there are some hard moments.
In hindsight, overcoming the hard moments is what makes it all worth it.
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Also published this week:
Post Traumatic Jits Disorder
Today’s post was written by Sam Dennett. Sam is a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu training out of Partizan Grappling in Sydney, Australia. He’s also the author of Warrior Funk — a newsletter focused on personal growth, storytelling, and overcoming obstacles.
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