The Year-End Reflection
Analyzing the year and planning for the next one.
2023 has been one of the most exciting, challenging, and transformational years of my life.
I’ve:
gone on 27 trips
been to 5 countries
done 14 Jiu-Jitsu competitions
met an amazing woman
started The Grappler’s Diary Instagram page
moved cities (Yee-haw!)
gotten injured (a few times)
gotten better (every time)
medaled in an ADCC Trials
fell in love
wrote about 200 articles online
wrote a book
taught seminars all over America
made new friends
and learned tons about myself and living a better life
In this article, I’m going to try to chronicle everything I’ve experienced this year, reflect on what I’ve learned, and set a few big goals for 2023. It’s a bit of a long one, but to be fair, it’s been a long year. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this and that maybe it will inspire you to write a “year-end reflection” of your own.
Enjoy :)
The year started tough.
The mid-year reflection for me had an overarching theme of pain and suffering because that’s kind of how I’d summarize most of the first part of my year.
I spent a lot of money on investments that I still haven’t made anything back from, I trained and worked extremely hard, I traveled and competed a lot, and I tried to figure out “what was next” after quitting my old teaching gig and moving out of my apartment in Chicago.
This was a period full of a lot of experimentation, a lot of stress, a few painful losses in competition, and a couple of painful injuries on the mat. That includes a minor (but still painful) meniscus injury in February and a grade 2 hamstring injury back in May.
There were a lot of hard things that I experienced in the early parts of this year, but there were also some really good things as well.
I met my girlfriend, MJ in late April in Austin, Texas. This was the highlight of the first part of the year, but I didn’t truly appreciate how special the relationship was until a few months in.
I also won a tough tournament in Chicago before heading down to Austin, won a team tournament in January in California, and had a bunch of seminars in the early part of the year as well. The early part of this year was profitable and exciting because it was full of possibilities. I hoped that I was on to bigger and better things.
However, really, I was mostly just on to hotter days and more painful beatings, because in the middle of July, I moved to Austin, Texas, to train full-time at B-Team in 100-degree weather.
I moved to Texas.
This was the biggest life change for me not just this year, but in recent memory.
I now call not only a new state but an entirely new part of the country, “home”. I’ve lived in Chicago for more than 20 years of my life, but anymore. This was not as easy as I think I made it seem, but here, 6 months into my move, I do not regret moving at all.
I miss living in Chicago, I miss my friends back home, and I miss being able to see my family at least once a week, but the move I made in late July was the right move for my athletic development and my personal development.
Since moving, however, I’ve been challenged in many different ways.
Just 48 hours into living in Austin, I had a minor issue with my new gym because of a leg lock gone wrong. 2 weeks into living in Austin, I had my ankle destroyed in the IBJJF Chicago Open. I was also (and have been) dealing with trying to figure out how I was going to make a living in Austin, training for the ADCC Trials now on one ankle, and traveling all over the country teaching seminars in the weeks leading up to the first European Trials in Warsaw in September.
It was a crazy period and it was very busy. Not many people know this, but my ankle was so bad before the European Trials that I was considering having surgery. I was going to compete no matter what, but it wasn’t until 8 days before the event that I was 100% sure that the injury was going to recover from the injury without surgery.
After moving, I hit my stride for a bit.
Going into the European Trials, I was riding a string of strong competitive performances.
I won a match in Austin in July, had a close match with an ADCC veteran 2 weeks later (in ADCC rules), won a local tournament in Austin 3 weeks after that, and then finally won the Chicago Open to cap 4 successful competition weekends in 6 weeks.
I did sustain the aforementioned ankle injury at the Chicago Open, (this is why I decided to go up to 88 Kilograms for the European Trials), but for the most part, I was doing well.
I was battered, struggling to find sustainability financially, and struggling to adjust to life in a new city, but I was doing the thing. Life was good, for the most part. I was in the process of figuring everything out and looking nowhere but up.
Then, I went to the European Trials with my girlfriend and my new friends from my new gym, and I felt like I had life all figured out.
I performed very well at the Trials, securing a bronze medal and losing a close match to the eventual tournament winner by a late guard pass. I also beat an ADCC veteran and former Trials champion for the bronze medal.
Then, my girlfriend and I took a romantic trip to Italy. This was, without a doubt, the most fun I had throughout the year. We visited Venice, Ravello (it’s on the Amalfi Coast, and it’s stunning), and Rome. It was wonderful to have a week off of training and beating the sh*t out of myself before a hard camp was about to begin for the ADCC East Coast Trials.
That was when I really started to learn hard lessons about myself, what I wanted, and how I was going to get it.
Crisis in Atlantic City.
ADCC East Coast Trials was a doozy.
The day after I got back from Europe, I got sick. I was in bed for 2 days straight, and out of training for 4 days. After a week of training as hard as I could to make up for all the training time that I missed, I got sick again on the day that I landed in Chicago. I came back home for a friend’s wedding, to teach seminars, and to finish my final preparations for the East Coast Trials.
I went to the Trials and did not feel like my best self.
I had the best weight cut I’ve ever had to get to 77 KG, but I was not in great shape, I was not super healthy, and I was not prepared to compete in another grueling ADCC Trials just 4 weeks after medaling at 88 KG in Europe.
I ended up losing in the round of 16 to a guy who I’d beaten the year before, and I felt like crap about the match, myself, and my decision to move my entire life across the country to do Jiu-Jitsu. I normally take losses pretty well, but I didn’t take that one super well. It sucked.
After this, however, I did the only thing I knew how to do: I kept on going.
Finishing the year at full speed.
This year was a year of constant travel for me, and I finished it by doing just that.
After competing 2 weekends in a row in November, performing much better (it’s crazy what several weeks of uninterrupted, consistent training in the B-Team room can do for your progress), and having a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend in Austin with my girlfriend and sister, I hit the road again.
I’m still on the road as I write this piece. I will still be on the road when you read it a couple of days from now.
I finished 2023 with a month of traveling — Austin to Chicago to London to Chicago to Tucson to Chicago to San Diego back to Austin.
I competed twice. I did Combat Jiu-Jitsu for the first time.
In the last 2 months of the year, I competed 4 times, had 13 matches, and got smacked in the face live on UFC Fight Pass and in front of my girlfriend. Luckily, she is more supportive than I could ever ask her to be.
I also finished the year with a lot of positive writing momentum as well.
My Jiu-Jitsu writing Instagram page is constantly growing, I’ve just finished writing my first book, and I feel like I have more than enough ideas to fill months and months' worth of upcoming creative work.
I’m still working with one ghostwriting client, and looking to start working with new clients in the new year. My second BJJ instructional is about to go live.
I already have 2 competitions and 2 seminars in the works for 2023, and plenty more coming. My paid newsletter focused on Jiu-Jitsu development is growing every week, and although I’m still struggling in many ways with different things, when I zoom out there’s a silver lining in every negative that I deal with.
Life is good. It’s just been a challenging year.
I’m confident and hopeful that there are a lot of good things coming in the new year.
Closing Thoughts
The year is ending in 2 days.
Tomorrow, my girlfriend is taking me to see Zach Bryan, whose music has gotten me through a lot of the tough times I’ve seen this year. There’s something poetic about seeing him with my girlfriend, who’s been the person I’ve leaned on a lot in tough times this year.
But again, though there were a lot of tough times this year — losses, injuries, stress, and more — this has been anything but a bad year.
If anything, 2023 has been a full year.
There’s been joy, triumph, failure, agony, anxiety, love, peace, and everything in between. This year, I did a lot of things, but the best thing that I did was that I didn’t settle and I didn’t quit. I met an amazing woman, I went to Italy, I medaled in an ADCC Trials, and moved my entire life to Texas to chase a dream. I went from feeling lost and alone in the place that I was calling “home” to feeling fulfilled and excited about new possibilities for myself. I completely redesigned my life from where it was 12 months ago.
Sure, I’m still kind of scared shitless, but I’m so fulfilled these days that I can barely contain my excitement.
To me, that makes this year the biggest win I’ve ever had.
With all of this being said, here are a few of my biggest goals for 2024, based on what has happened in 2023:
significant technical improvement in Jiu-Jitsu—I have a new outlook on training nowadays and it excites me more than ever
teach more Jiu-Jitsu
travel less and only travel to places I want to go
win an ADCC Trials
publish the book I mentioned
rebuild my freelance writing clientele
build a new life in Austin with my new gym and girlfriend
create some new writing projects to scratch some itches that I haven’t been able to satisfy
Next, here’s the best stuff I’ve “consumed” in 2023:
Organized by title, here are some of the best food, books, music, and more that I consumed in 2023 — handpicked for your future consuming pleasure.
Most Transformational Blog posts:
Ten Unimaginable Life Lessons You Can Learn from Anthony Bourdain by Tim Denning — as someone who used to watch Parts Unknown for comfort when I was younger, this article brought a tear to my eye. Great piece.
My 2022 Yearly Review by Dickie Bush — I started following Dickie on Twitter earlier this year, and it was actually his yearly review that inspired me to do my own. Admittedly, his review is a bit longer than mine, but it’s definitely a great blog to check out if you’re looking at trying to improve your habits and routines but not sure how or where to start.
Best Books:
I read 25 books this year. These were the 2 best ones:
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi — Paul Kalanithi was a brilliant neurosurgeon and articulate writer, and he was tragically diagnosed with terminal lung cancer at the age of 36. This book is his life story. Best Quote: “If the unexamined life was not worth living, was the unlived life worth examining?”
Island by Aldous Huxley — If you’ve read Brave New World by Huxley, you should definitely check this one out too. This book helped me learn new insights into mindfulness, deep thinking, and how to live a more peaceful life. It pairs great with The Book of Life by Krishnamurti, one of my favorite books of last year. Best Quote: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling...”
A Few Favorite Tweets:
“The Italians know how to live, the French how to think, and the Americans how to work. If one is to become a cosmopolite, a 'worldly' man, then he ought to take those three and put them together, if such a thing is possible (I'm not sure it is).” — enjoyed this tweet from @vanyaaix in part because of all the travel I did this year.
“Be who you want to be right now. You don't need permission to believe in yourself. You know you'll make it, so walk the talk, and live with an abundance mentality.”—the closing line of this banger from @thedulab
Most Helpful Podcast Episodes
Dan Koe & Dickie Bush On One-Person Businesses, Creative Workflows, and Lifestyle Design — I listened to this one a few weeks ago, and it was really inspiring for me to listen to guys who are just about my age have such an interesting conversation about helpful topics that interest me. Both of these writers are worth checking out, especially if you’re interested in creativity and lifestyle design.
Sahil Bloom — Become A Magnet For Success | The Danny Miranda Podcast 218 — Sahil Bloom was the first “Twitter creator” I ever followed solely for his Twitter content, and I learned a lot from his insights on success, self-improvement, and most importantly to me, balancing work and family life. This podcast dives deep into all of these topics and more.
Most Enjoyable Movie/Show:
Ted Lasso — Ted Lasso’s seasons 1 and 2 happened before this year, but the final season came out this spring. My girlfriend and I binged the whole series over a month or so this fall, and it was the first show in a long time that I felt sad finishing. It was super heartfelt, funny, and a real joy to watch.
There are a few other movies and shows that I watched this year, but Ted Lasso is the only one that’s truly memorable.
Most Impactful Musical Albums:
Caamp by Caamp — This album is technically from 2016, but I discovered it in April. Regardless, it’s brought me a great deal of peace this year in tough times and inspired me a lot in writing, thinking, and living. My favorite tracks are “Iffy” and “All the Debts I Owe”.
Zach Bryan by Zach Bryan — I discovered Zach Bryan via my sister 2 years ago, but I really fell in love with his music this past year and a half. He’s only a year older than me, but the way that he talks about his experiences and his honesty and vulnerability inspires me. My favorite tracks on this album are “Spotless” and “Tourniquet”.
Favorite Culinary Experiences:
Carbonara in Rome — My trip to Italy, I’ve said a few times in this post, was the highlight of my year. When in Italy, we had a lot of great meals, but the best in my opinion was the pasta that we had on our last night. I had a delicious Carbonara paired with a Fanta. If you didn’t know, Fanta is better in Europe.
Lobster in Mexico — One of the perks of dating a Mexican woman is that for the first time this year, I got to go to Mexico and have authentic Mexican food overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I’ll never forget the experience of dining on seafood, sipping a margarita, and spending time with my lovely lady.
Top Travel Destinations:
Ravello, the Amalfi Coast (Italy)—For 2 years in a row now, the Amalfi Coast has been the coolest place I’ve gone to for the year. I had a bit more fun this year—likely due to my beautiful travel companion—but I recommend everyone visit the Amalfi Coast at least once in their life. If you can, do it with a partner.
London, England — London is one of my favorite travel destinations, even though the weather is admittedly shitty. There’s tons to do, tons of history, and also, the author of The Grappler’s Diary himself was born there! I went to London twice this year, and I hope to make another trip back there soon because there’s still a lot that I haven’t seen or done in the city.
That’s all folks!
In addition to reflecting on the entire year, I also wrote a long-form piece this week reflecting on my experience at the Combat Jiu-Jitsu Worlds last weekend.
You can read that article by clicking below:
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