Why It's Good to Be In a Cult
Acai flavored Kool-Aid, anyone?
I’ve been sort of obsessed with cults recently.
It started by watching this movie about a religious cult with my girlfriend last weekend, followed by posting a bunch of content about Jiu-Jitsu gyms that are culty, and now I’ve been obsessively listening to the audiobook of Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties — a book that goes deep into the nitty gritty details of the Manson Family, what happened, and what it’s like being in a cult.
Cults are crazy. They make people do crazy things.
But, they can also be great for skill development.
Today, we’re talking about cults, archetypes, and the reason why you’re not happy with your journey in Jiu-Jitsu, life, or whatever else you’re doing.
Let’s go.
The different archetypes in Jiu-Jitsu.
These archetypes exist outside of Jiu-Jitsu, but we’re going to Jiu-Jitsu for a frame of reference.
There are generally 4 types of Jiu-Jitsu practitioners:
The Martial Artist
The Hobbyist
The Athlete
The Teacher
The Martial Artist is someone who is obsessed with finding their own way. Someone who needs to experience everything firsthand to understand its validity. Someone who is more interested in “truth” (whatever they think that means) through the medium than success, glory, or even their health.
The Hobbyist is someone who practices the thing just for fun. They may have elements of all the archetypes, but their main goal is enjoyment.
The Athlete aims to win at all costs. They train hard and they expect excellence from themselves, but they’re a competitor first and everything else second.
The Teacher or “The Coach” is someone whose main goal is understanding for the purpose of imparting wisdom to other people. Their goal is to help other people succeed even if it comes at the sacrifice of their own personal development.
These archetypes are important because each archetype thrives in a different kind of environment. The trick is knowing yourself enough to place yourself in the right environment so that you can grow.
The pros and cons of “cults”.
Imagine that you’re someone who just wants to be the best that you can be.
Your goal is not to have a deep understanding of something or to develop yourself by doing it, your goal is to develop to the point where you can execute techniques, succeed in competition, and develop without having to really think too much.
There are some really good Jiu-Jitsu gyms out there that are extremely culty. They produce world champions. The people in those gyms are happy to be training at them.
Or at least, they seem like they are. They’re usually not encouraged to mingle outside their own group too much so I haven’t really talked to a lot of them.
But that’s not really important to them. They are mostly “Athlete” archetypes with probably a couple of Coaches in there as well.
Cults are good for these people because you don’t have to think much to develop your skills. Someone else does the thinking for you and you just act and digest. You just do what they say.
It’s no wonder that 2 of the best BJJ competition teams in the world are known for being weird and culty to outsiders.
The bad thing about cults is that you could end up in a bad one. One that alienates you from your friends, family, and the person that you actually want to be. A bad cult will make you sacrifice things you don’t want to sacrifice to achieve things you don’t really want that badly.
So — it’s good to be in a cult, as long as you don’t choose the wrong one. Maybe the Jiu-Jitsu gym that has a lot of weird rules and doesn’t allow cross-training is mild, but maybe they’re not. Maybe you’re on a slippery slope to losing yourself.
All the groups we are in in our lives can be culty at times. This is what makes so many of them stand out.
The key is to choose your cults without ruining your life and ruining your passion for the thing you’re doing.
The complexity of good coaching.
I like to think that I’m a “martial artist” when it comes to the 4 archetypes above.
I’m pretty coachable and always open to criticism, but I am also very stubborn. I’m more interested in finding the truth than being a part of the group. I often find myself being more interested in being lonely and sticking to the truth than in a group and lying to myself.
There’s just something about not holding myself up to my own standards that makes my skin crawl.
Maybe it’s because I reread that famous quote from Dosteovesky too many times:
“Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”
My man Dostoevsky was cookin’ when he wrote Crime and Punishment.
Anyway, when I was a white belt in Jiu-Jitsu, I hated the formalities that many gyms had. I hated having to call some guy who I didn’t really respect “Professor” even though he was American, I’m American, and we’re speaking English. I hated having to bow onto the mat and to all my partners all the time. I thought these things were not true respect, and I was told that one day I’d get my black belt and I’d understand.
I got my black belt, and I still felt in hindsight that those experiences I had in Jiu-Jitsu were weird. I was turned off by them.
I felt like I was being a part of a group, but not following the truth. This did not sit well with me.
I also know that I am not this loose cannon that I was made to seem like when I mention my disdain for these “traditions”.
I eventually found a group of people I liked training with and being around, and there were no formalities that made our relationships noticeably weird.
I’ve met several very exceptional coaches in my Jiu-Jitsu career. I have deep respect for these few people and their opinions. I take what they say in high regard. I do what they say when they offer advice — usually though with a lot of questions.
I just think that respect should be earned, not given. I think at times, I’m more of a martial artist than an athlete.
Closing Thoughts
Extremes are problematic.
A Jiu-Jitsu gym that doesn’t allow cross-training is stupid. A cult that is inciting a murderous race war (The Manson Family) is horrible.
An exclusive group is only as good as the leader, and most leaders are flawed. The way around this is looser borders and collaboration. This might not work well on an international scale between the US and Russia, but I don’t there’s a good reason why Jiu-Jitsu academies all over the world can’t get along.
It can’t be clearer to see that we all love the same thing when literally, we all love the same thing.
So is it good to be in a cult?
I don’t know. It’s definitely easier.
What if it’s a good cult? What if the leader is benevolent, there’s room for open discussion, and there are group members of all different archetypes?
That’d be awesome.
Unless of course, someone at the top changes how they feel.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week’s episode features Jesse Walker! Jesse is a black belt under Chris Haueter and is the head coach at Rough Hands BJJ in Louisville, Kentucky.
In this episode, Jesse introduces the paradox of control: a concept teaching us that in order to attack in Jiu-Jitsu, you must sometimes sacrifice control for movement.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts or just hit this link.
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Whenever I wear a Brolo out in public, I get tons of compliments. It’s really the only thing in my wardrobe that people ask “Where can I get one too?”
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What are you waiting for?
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