Why You Should Take More Chances
The pros and cons of trying.
After ADCC in August, I felt aimless for a while.
I had this huge goal of making it to ADCC and doing well and I achieved it. Although this milestone did solve many problems for me, it created some new ones.
I felt good about myself but I also felt like a fraud. I felt like I was resting on my laurels — like I didn’t have a reason to press onward.
I was expecting things like big matches and a full seminar schedule to just be handed to me and they weren’t and I wasn’t sure what to do next. This enhanced my already growing sense of imposter syndrome.
Then, I got an opportunity I wasn’t expecting — a chance to compete at the Professional Grappling Federation (PGF) at 205 pounds. As someone who regularly competes at 170 and 185 pounds, this was a bit of a daunting task and even pretty risky. Some of my opponents were cutting down to the division from 230+ pounds.
Nonetheless, I decided to take the chance.
Here are the pros and cons of taking chances.
You could fail.
Failure can take many forms when it comes to competing in Jiu-Jitsu.
A loss can make you seem like you’re not as good as you once were. It can cause physical injury to your body. It can damage your spirit.
On day 1 of the PGF, I experienced the first of a couple of big failures that I would experience throughout the week. I lost a match via submission.
And the consequences of this failure?
Honestly, apart from my opponent getting 6 points and boosting his spot in the standings, there were none. My girlfriend and family still loved me, I still had to come back and compete the next day, and by the end of the week, pretty much everyone had forgotten about the loss that kept me up most of Monday night.
Failure sucks and stings at the moment, but the thing that causes the fear of failure — the social rejection that you can feel from failing — is an illusion.
You’ll learn something about yourself.
This could be a pro, but it could also be a con.
It’s kind of a corny thing to write about — the life lessons that you learn from competing in Jiu-Jitsu — but I still think about it
Over this week, I had to compete against friends, “rivals”, people who outweighed me by 30 pounds, and old opponents who knew the ins and outs of my games. Each night of competition presented a new challenge.
It was physically and mentally exhausting. I barely slept on several of the nights and I didn’t get quality rest the other nights. I was running off of adrenaline and fumes and a burning desire to prove myself as one of the best guys in the division. The back pain the week after that grueling week has been brutal.
From it all, however, I learned that my mind is much tougher than I thought it was — and that my body is not nearly as fragile as I thought it was either. I learned that I’m tougher than I thought.
Not everyone came away with this lesson though.
The thing is that this toughness is not correlated to your Jiu-Jitsu skill. Not everyone left that competition last week learning things that they like about themselves.
The experience will inevitably end.
On day 2 of the 5-day tournament, it felt like the competition was never going to end.
I felt like I was going to be in Vegas living Groundhog Day forever and ever and that I’d never go home. I thought I was just going to eat breakfast at random coffee shops in the desert and that I’d have dinner on the strip until I died. I felt like every single day at 2:30 I was going to get a surge of adrenaline and that in 90 minutes there was going to be a new challenge to take on at the venue where the competition was going to be held.
And then, just like everything, it ended.
It went from being the only thing that I could think about to just something that I get to write about for an article or 2.
It went from being this thing keeping me up at night to a string of pictures on my camera roll and a few videos on my Instagram.
It went from being a huge deal to being, well, over. It went from being the future to the present to the past.
And because of that, something else is going to have to take its place.
Closing Thoughts
“Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.” — Buddha
Every experience comes and goes.
Life is definitely some sort of a journey, but the individual experiences that we have — whether it be a competition, a major life event, or a career are more like waves hitting the shoreline than they are any sort of grand arrival. One wave hits the shoreline and then another follows moments later.
It never ends until one day it does, but even then it keeps going — you’re just not involved anymore.
That’s why it’s so essential to take advantage of your moments as they come and to take chances. The only consequence of taking a chance is that eventually, the chance ends and your wave hits the shoreline.
When it does, you’re left with results, lessons about yourself, and the opportunity for a new experience.
The only real regret will come when you choose to do nothing.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week we're joined by Aldo Vergel de Dios! Aldo is the black belt head coach at Motion Jiu-Jitsu in Metro Manila, Philippines.
In this episode, Aldo discusses a problem relevant to students and coaches alike: how to integrate conceptual Jiu-Jitsu thinking with on-the-ground practice.
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Gym 1801 is a brand-new martial arts and fitness facility in Evanston, Illinois.
Apart from being one of the most beautiful Jiu-Jitsu gyms in the world (and run by the man who gave me my black belt in BJJ), Gym 1801 offers world-class instruction, facilities, and training. Gym 1801 was also one of my main sponsors at ADCC 2024.
The gym offers top-class recovery tools like cryo, red light therapy, and sauna, and a wide array of classes like yoga, HIIT, and athletic training. They have everything you need to reach your potential on and off of the mat. (Hit this link to view a video tour of Gym 1801 by me!)
When I think about what I want in a dream Jiu-Jitsu Academy, Gym 1801 has everything I could think of and more.
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