Your Competition Isn't the Reason You Can't Win
No one knows you like your "enemies".
I really like the picture above.
At first glance, this picture just looks like a bunch of sweaty dudes (and one girl) who just got done with Jiu-Jitsu practice, and we all look really tired. If that was all you took from this photo, you wouldn’t be far from the truth.
However, to me, the picture says a lot more than just “thank God training is over and thank God I can finally go home”.
To me, this picture says “you should definitely love your rivals because they’re going to be the people who push you to the levels that you didn’t know you could get to”.
See, what this picture doesn’t say is that several weeks after it was taken, almost all of the athletes in the picture will be competing in the same division at one of the largest Jiu-Jitsu tournaments of the year.
Some of them will even have to fight each other.
This is the perfect example of the magic that can happen when driven, talented people put their differences aside and get together to become better.
The results are beautiful. The results transcend sports, business, and competition.
The results are the source of all human progress.
Insecurity exposes the evils of competition
If there wasn’t a space race, how long do you think that it would have taken humanity to get into outer space?
If there wasn’t an Olympic Games every 4 years, how long do you think it would have taken to break the 4-minute mile?
We can only speculate, however, I’d bet that it would have taken much longer to accomplish these feats without competition than it did in reality. Though this might be a controversial opinion, competition can be a very good thing. In competitive endeavors, it’s been proven again and again that more competition leads to greater progress.
However, not everyone feels this way.
I’m a copywriter as well as a martial artist. Some time ago, I posted a piece of content for a client where I basically gave props and a shoutout to a competitor in the client’s industry for taking steps to improve employee safety in the industry.
It was a short social media post with a link to an article, but my client wasn’t thrilled about my decision to “support the enemy”. I was trying to be kind, and instead, I just felt like a traitor and I was told to take the post down.
I was confused because personally, I can’t see a world where praising your competition’s success is a bad thing. Some of the guys in the picture at the top of this article can and do literally beat me up. How I feel about them doesn’t change that. All I can change is my response to the negative emotions that that elicits.
My response is that the success of others does not limit my success. All success should be celebrated. I praise others because there is nothing wrong with supporting people who want the same thing you do.
Unless of course, you’re insecure.
It’s only possible to see the success of others as a bad thing when you are deeply insecure. When you’re insecure, the success of others feels like a threat. I’ve felt that before, and to overcome that, you have to face that feeling head-on.
Loving your “enemy” is a power-move
In sports, people think it’s easy for us to see past the idea that our “competitors are our enemies”.
“It’s just a game,” or so they say.
At the end of an intense experience like a training session, tournament, or fight, it’s really easy to recognize that your competitor is just a person like you, and they want the same things that you want. However, this isn’t because “it’s just a game”. It’s not just a game for me and the guys I’m fighting against. This game is how we make our livelihood. There’s real money on the line.
So what gives?
Why is it that in business or social games, the cutthroat mentality is so much more difficult to shake? Is it because of the money, or is it the mindset that “real consequences are on the line”?
Here’s the cold hard truth: a lot of people are whiny, sore losers. A lot of people are very insecure.
I’ve competed in grappling matches and tournaments where thousands of dollars in cold hard cash have been on the line. Sometimes, I’ve won. Other times, I’ve lost. I’ve never been allowed to throw a fit in the way that business owners do if they fail to make a sale or if they lose a client. If I did that, I’d look like a giant baby.
I’m still irrationally competitive, but I simultaneously love the guys who I have to compete against who push me to be the best version of myself. Without them, I’d be mediocre, very unhappy, and incredibly uncomfortable in regard to the success of others. In what I do, respect for my “enemy” isn’t a power move, it’s a requirement.
In business, where cutthroat competition is the norm, unconditional kindness is the easiest power move you can make.
The reason that loving your enemy is a power-move (in any endeavor in life) is that unconditional support and kindness demonstrate the appearance of self-sufficiency, strength, and confidence.
Strength and character are always celebrated — in whatever you do.
A competitive edge is not about exploitation
They say that “nice guys finish last”, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Kindness is not a weakness unless it is being faked or forced. If you’re being a “nice guy” in order to get laid, you’re not a nice guy, you’re a creep.
If your desire in business is to bend the rules, exploit your clients/customers, and take the path of least resistance to the top, you could become quite successful. You might even do it quicker than someone who took the path of authenticity. However, what you’ll lose in that transaction is more expensive than any sale or invoice can help you out with.
You’ll lose your peace, your sanity, and your morals.
Without those 3 things, you’re not much different than an animal in a tuxedo who happens to own a business. See, when it comes to competition, there are really only 2 ways to win:
You can exploit the rules, or you can develop genuine skills. Becoming undeniably good is the most peaceful way to the top of anything.
The choice is yours, but if you feel threatened by the presence of your competition, it’s likely that you are being motivated more by exploitation than loved.
It’s not better to be feared than loved in business. In business, sports, and personal relationships, it’s better to be strong and loved than weak and fear. This holds true in everything from selling stuff to fighting people in a bathrobe.
Closing thoughts
When I became a copywriter a little over a year ago, some of my friends made fun of the fact that someone with a passion for philosophy and a moral compass as obnoxiously strong as mine would choose to “trick people to buy things” for a living.
The uncomfortable thing is, my friends are right about copywriting... sort of. See, I don't view marketing as a game where I’m tricking people into doing things — although, some people do. I view marketing and selling as a game of self-expression, and the best moves in this game are authentic and genuine. Marketing is only shady when you are lying in order to sell.
“It’s only “clickbait” if you fail to keep your promise to the reader.” — Nicolas Cole
In the long term, genuine skills, honest storytelling, and deep respect for your competition will lead to long-term results and a deeper sense of happiness at the same time. Business stuff is fun to me, but it’s not fun to exploit people, talk down on my competition, and manipulate my customers. If I never do these things, I feel like crap about myself.
That’s why I try to envision a world in the future where honesty is praised above all. It’s a beautiful idea.
Almost as beautiful in fact, as a fight.
Other Articles Published In the Last 7 Days
How I Beat Derealization and Got My Mind Back
7 Lessons On Confidence From a Decade of Martial Arts
What to Do When Your Hard Work Doesn’t Pay Off
4 Concepts You Must Study to Improve at Anything Faster
Like My Writing? You’re Gonna Love Listening to Me Talk!
This week, I was a guest on Josh McKinney’s podcast, The I Suck at Jiu-Jitsu Show. We talked about everything from writing to learning Jiu-Jitsu to micro-drilling to making money as a Jiu-Jitsu athlete who doesn’t own a gym. We even spent a few minutes analyzing what exactly would happen in zero gravity Jiu-Jitsu.
Josh is a great interviewer and has a great show.
You’re not going to want to miss out on this conversation. Click here to listen to the whole episode on Spotify!
Thank you for reading this edition of my newsletter! As always, if you’d like to support my work, you can purchase a Medium membership using my referral link. If not, I’m brewing up some premium content options that will be available after I’m done competing for these next few weeks (ADCC Trials and Jiu-Jitsu CON these next 2 weeks back to back).
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Wishing you the best,
—Chris