10 Lessons From 10 Years of Jiu-Jitsu
I recently became a first degree black belt.
Life has been crazy for the last few months.
Although it’s the end of May, I feel like I’m just beginning to digest April.
I hit 10 years of training in mid-April
Then, I competed at WNO
A week later, I got the first degree on my black belt
A few days after that, I got engaged
It’s been a whirlwind, but the 10 years of Jiu-Jitsu training are what I wanted to focus on today.
A decade is a long time to spend grappling people.
Here are 10 essential lessons from 10 years of Jiu-Jitsu.
Everything feels important in the moment, but most things are not important.
When you zoom in, every moment has nearly equal significance.
At the time, the white belt NAGA tournament that I competed in in 2016 was as important to me as ADCC 2024.
In hindsight (when I zoom out), I’m able to see what is truly important and what is not. Most things aren’t that important, but some things are super important.
Treating everything like it’s the end-all be-all is the path to burnout.
Same your best moments for your biggest moments.
Your body is not a temple.
If my body really were a temple, I wouldn’t put it through the daily car accident that is Jiu-Jitsu training in one of the toughest rooms in the world.
Anthony Bourdain said that your body is like an amusement park, but for Jiu-Jitsu purposes, that’s not right either. If anything, your body is more like a car.
You can let it sit in the garage, or you can drive it till it stops working, but either way, it’s going to stop working eventually.
Might as well learn some cool take downs and guard passes before you end up how you started this life — in diapers and completely incoherent.
The way you train will always change.
Coming from a wrestling background, I’ve always been a fan of drilling.
Before moving to Texas, I used a tool called “microdrilling” to improve my leg locks. It was really helpful for me.
When I first moved to Austin, I was doing a lot of positional rounds but hardly drilling at all. Most of my skill development came from doing rounds with opponents who I was significantly more skilled than.
Nowadays, I am doing a lot of ecological training (constraints-led approach) and a little bit of drilling based on the skills I am trying to develop. It’s more of a test and learn process instead of just getting reps.
In a couple of years, I’m sure the training will look completely different. This is the nature of the sport, especially nowadays, when it’s changing very fast.
There are only 3 cures for BJJ burnout.
I’ve written about this before, but I’ll simplify it for you as best I can here:
Push through the pain and embrace the grind
Train, but lighter
Take a day off and take a break from the game
There are no other ways to cure BJJ burnout.
If you have competition anxiety, you need to compete more.
Competition anxiety is like a monster under your bed.
Until you get up and face fear, it’s going to feel like this terrifying, daunting beast that has power over you.
Once you face the fear, you’ll realize how unscary it really is.
Here’s a quote that I hope will help you realize what you need to do to beat your competition anxiety:
“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” — Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
You can beat people who are better than you by being smarter than they are.
People always talk about how Jiu-Jitsu works because a smaller person can defeat a bigger person.
When they say this, they completely forget about the most important aspect of the equation.
You need:
Skill
Timing
Intelligence
To beat someone who is bigger and better than you.
Complaining gets you nowhere.
Sometimes, I get annoyed with things in Jiu-Jitsu.
My progress (usually the lack thereof), drama at the gym, opportunities, injuries, etc. It’s normal to get frustrated by these things.
However, the hard truth is that complaining about things doesn’t help you get better at them.
You have to take actionable steps toward your vision.
As much as I love the idea of manifesting progress and speaking things into existence, the real progress comes from getting into the trenches and doing the dirty work.
I spoke my Jiu-Jitsu dream into existence, but I also trained daily for years to capitalize on the opportunity.
If I complained every time I struggled, I’d talk a lot, but I wouldn’t say much of value.
You need to lift weights until you die.
Sometimes, people comment that I feel a lot stronger than I look.
Oftentimes, people don’t say anything at all about my strength.
It doesn’t really matter — my strength is not my best attribute.
However, strength training is essential for durability, and in a sport where you are literally getting beaten up every day, you need to be durable.
Signing up to compete is like signing up for a car accident. Don’t do it unless your body is ready to endure some pain.
Don’t do it unless your body is strong.
Everyone is on their own journey.
Once you start coaching and teaching, you become very invested in other people’s Jiu-Jitsu journeys.
You start to want them to train a certain way, think a certain way, and look for certain techniques based on your opinion.
Coaching, however, is not controlling.
It’s about offering guidance, not controlling someone’s actions.
Everyone is on their own journey in this life and this sport. When you coach, remember that.
Don’t become a cult leader! Foster community without fostering cultishness.
You need to put yourself out there constantly.
This is a major life lesson from competition that has been huge for me personally and in my business.
When I first started competing in wrestling, I had a record of 4 wins and 28 losses. 28 losses, most of which were pins in the first period.
I wrestled in hundreds of matches. I’ve had hundreds of matches in Jiu-Jitsu. Incremental improvements over the hundreds of competitions have led me to where I am now — still learning every day.
This is why I put out so much stuff for my business — instructionals, books/ebooks, content, seminars, etc. I hate failing, but I know that if I truly want to succeed, I need to constantly put myself out there and learn.
You need to take chances to have a chance at winning the game.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast.
This week we're joined by Brennan Strimple!
Brennan is the black belt head coach at RPMA (Rochester Phoenix Martial Arts).
In this episode, Brennan shares his playbook for building a thriving kids' Jiu-Jitsu program, as well as leading the development of affordable kids' tournament circuits in the local community.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts, or just hit this link.
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ATHLETHC is the world's first THC mint that is designed with performance in mind.
It’s a microdose of THC, so it doesn’t get you high, but it does promote blood flow and optimal brain function. I’ve been using ATHLETHC mints nearly every day since for about the last month and I’m loving the results.
There are 3 formulas to help with whatever life is throwing at you — Flow, Power, and Rebound.
Flow is great for my writing sessions, dinner with friends, or a long night of teaching
Power is great for those hard gym workouts you just can’t stand
Rebound is nice when you’re recovering at home from a hard week of work
My new instructional is live!!!
This week, I released a new instructional on BJJ Fanatics.
It’s called Don’t Get Passed, and it demonstrates key ideas on guard retention, a series of guard attacks, and provides methods to build specific skills required to have a dangerous open guard.
It’s also currently 49% off using the code “WORLDS2025”, as part of their IBJJF Worlds sale.
So hit this link, add the instructional to your cart, and use the code “WORLDS2025” at checkout.
Also published this week:
The Proactive BJJ Training Model
Today’s post was written by Heath “The Ref” Massery. He is a Jiu-Jitsu referee best known for his resemblance to Weird Al Yankovic and his growing presence on the American ADCC circuit.
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