
When I was younger, I felt lost all the time.
I’d listen to podcasts, read adventure novels, and imagine that I was a different person from myself. I wanted to escape my life.
I spent my time from 16-22 not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I think a lot of young people do this — we try on different personalities like they’re hats until we find one that we can stick with.
I drowned myself in different things to attempt to fill the void of not knowing who I was.
This aimlessness was at its worst around 7 years ago. 2018.
Let’s talk about what’s happened since then.
I became a (purple belt) Jiu-Jitsu world champion.
I always knew that Jiu-Jitsu was what I wanted to do for a living, but I didn’t know how.
I always wanted a job that had me on the mat every day, surrounded by motivated people, and working hard toward goals. This, to me, seemed like fulfillment.
In the early days, I derived Jiu-Jitsu fulfillment through competition and competitive results.
This was great when I was winning. At purple belt, when I won the no-gi world championship, I saw this as the most validating sign possible that I was on the right track.
I wasn’t earning any money for my Jiu-Jitsu at the time, but I always used to think that if I won enough tournaments, I’d just start making a living and “finding my purpose”.
The funny thing is that this is completely not the case.
A lesson from Craig Jones.
Craig Jones is a Jiu-Jitsu athlete who built his entire brand on losing.
Anyone who knows anything about the sport knows that Craig is highly skilled and one of the best no-gi grapplers of all time, but he doesn’t have the competitive accolades of someone like Gordon Ryan or Marcelo Garcia.
And yet, he’s still able to do Jiu-Jitsu full-time.
The reason?
It’s because he’s smart about how he positions himself.
At the highest levels of competition, Craig hasn’t won any major titles — but he’s come close. At this point in my career, I haven’t really won anything either. I’ve got some medals in the Trials, a top 4 at ADCC Worlds, and some deep runs in EBI and PGF, but I’m not the guy who wins everything all the time.
What I learned from Craig is that it’s unwise to base all of your success and personal worth on your competitive accolades alone.
The irony is that in my experience, the less you care about your results, the better the results become.
When I started teaching Jiu-Jitsu, I realized what Jiu-Jitsu is about.
When I teach, I feel like my ego gets deflated a bit.
There’s a moment or 2 where all eyes are on me and I’m the center of attention, but teaching isn’t about you — it’s about providing an environment for other people to grow.
Some teachers, I think, use teaching to build themselves and their egos up, but if you’re really doing it right, teaching keeps you humble.
When I am training to compete and competing all the time, my ego gets to be a bit much. I think sometimes people have this idea of me being humble because of how I portray myself online, but I sometimes get caught up in the excitement of this world, and I become a little self-centered.
I’m lucky I have a partner who keeps me humble and good friends who roast everything from my glasses to how I wear my pants, but still, it’s easy to allow competitive success (and the attention you get from it) to get to your head. When I’m in training camp for a major competition, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit of a prima donna.
When I teach, I realize that there’s so much more to Jiu-Jitsu than just trying to be the best.
I realize that a good Jiu-Jitsu practice is not about making you the best, it’s about bringing out the best version of yourself.
I’d even go so far as to say that if Jiu-Jitsu is not making your life better, you’re doing it wrong.
Closing Thoughts
In the book I recently published, I talked about the ideal expression of Jiu-Jitsu.
I have always thought of Jiu-Jitsu as something that is meant to be entirely positive. If it’s negative, like I said above, you’re doing it wrong.
Sure, sometimes we ebb and flow away from the perfect expression of Jiu-Jitsu in our lives, but that doesn’t change the goal. The ideal.
I also think that the idea of what “the best” or “the most positive” expression of Jiu-Jitsu isn’t what a lot of people think. It’s not about submitting everyone, passing everyone’s guard, making tons of money, gaining clout, or even “being good”.
The people that I have learned the most from in this sport are people you've never heard of. People who barely use social media. People who just love the game.
The ideal is that it makes you happier, healthier, and stronger, without bringing anyone down with you.
Plus, when you find the meaning of Jiu-Jitsu, one could argue that you’re closer to finding a sustainable meaning of life.
But hey, that’s for another day.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week, we’re joined by the founders of Inverted Gear: Hillary Witt and Nelson Puentes!
Three years ago, Hillary and Nelson took the Inverted Gear Brand beyond Jiu-Jitsu equipment and opened a physical academy in Pennsylvania! In this episode, Hillary and Nelson share key lessons learned from their journey into academy ownership.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts, or just hit this link.
Want to write for The Grappler’s Diary?
Do you have a Jiu-Jitsu story that you want to share?
I’m officially taking submissions for guest articles to The Grappler’s Diary.
Our newsletter reaches tens of thousands of readers on Substack every month and hundreds of thousands of readers on Instagram.
If you’d like to have your story featured in our newsletter and blasted across all social platforms, please send a no more than 250-word pitch to info@chrismwojcik.art.
Currently, I’m looking for contributions that will be run in late May and early June.
All pitches will be read and reviewed. Contribution pieces must be no more than 2000 words.
Love reading The Grappler’s Diary?
You’re going to love my BJJ book!
If you like reading about Jiu-Jitsu (and would like to contribute to my wedding fund 😅)
Pick up a copy or two of A Grappler’s Diary.
Hit this link to purchase of what some are calling “The Best BJJ Book on the Market!”
Also published this week:
Putting the "Art" in Martial Art
One thing that has always drawn me to Jiu-Jitsu and kept me coming back over and over again is the creative problem-solving aspect.
Thank you for reading another edition of The Grappler’s Diary!
If you enjoyed reading this article, share it with friends! Or, click on the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack!