The Mid-Year Reflection 2024
Success, failure, and planning the rest of my year.
Next Monday marks the halfway point of this year.
Twice per year, I write long reflection articles like these.
In part, they are for me. I like writing these longer articles as a way of digesting my life. However, I also think the lessons I’ve learned this year can help you, depending on which “bucket” you’re looking to improve in.
This article will go over what’s happening in the 5 major buckets of my life:
Jiu-Jitsu
Health and Fitness
Writing/Business
Personal Life/Relationships
Mental Health
Feel free to skip around, read only what’s interesting to you, and take what you need from this article. It is a long one.
Alright — let’s dive in.
Jiu-Jitsu
Jiu-Jitsu in Austin is kind of crazy.
It doesn’t really make sense. Austin is not a very big city. It’s known for barbecue, being the capital of Texas, and having a lot of food trucks.
But it’s also known for being “weird”. Maybe that’s why it’s attracted so many grapplers. We are weirdos.
Either way, I’ve been living and training in Austin for nearly a year. It will be exactly 1 year about 3 weeks after this article is published.
I’ve had a relatively slow but rewarding year of competition so far.
In January, I competed in a quintet-style event in Florida where I only had one match. In February, I competed in the European ADCC Trials and had 3 matches — I lost due to a tactical error and a rule that I didn’t know about.
I also competed at the ADCC West Coast Trials, but I almost didn’t do it.
I hate admitting this, but I was really burned out of competition, travel, and the stress of trying to get into ADCC earlier this year. That’s part of why I’ve had a slower competition year.
Dealing with sketchy promoters, losing money, and still having to compete against extremely tough opponents just wasn’t as fun for a while.
After the European Trials, I took about 2 weeks with my girlfriend and didn’t get on the mat once. I decided that I was going to do the West Coast Trials after drinking 3 Cortados in a cafe in Barcelona because I thought I would regret it if I didn’t.
I ended up staying at 88 KG for West Coast Trials even though I am a little undersized for the division, literally only because I didn’t want to ruin my vacation in Spain. I came home from Europe and didn’t really care about anything except for just training hard and doing my best, and I went out to Vegas to do the Trials.
I had 7 matches that weekend, beat some really good guys, and took 4th out of 200 plus. Suddenly, I was back in the game and excited to hit the end of the year hard.
Then, a drought came again. It was really hard to get matches for a while despite my good performances in the Trials. I felt dejected and bummed and once again, done with competing in Jiu-Jitsu. It was hard to justify all the hard training and damage that my body was taking for no competitive opportunities.
Then, the Craig Jones Invitational got announced, a couple of guys dropped out of 88 KG at ADCC, and I was one of the first in line to get in.
Now, I’m getting ready for my first-ever ADCC Worlds in Vegas on August 17-18.
While I’ve only competed 3 times this year, I’m still on the mat every day training with some of the best grapplers in the world. I’ve learned so much and developed so many new aspects of my game. I’m not just a butt-scooting leg locker anymore.
The way I think about training is much different now too — and here’s an article that talks about that:
Health and Fitness
Like every year that I spend pushing my body to its physical limits on the mat, this year I’ve had a couple of injuries.
One thing that I will say, however, is that I’ve gotten really good at managing my existing injuries.
I’ve been dealing with a minor back injury, but I haven’t had a back issue in nearly 2 years prior. I popped my rib a few months ago, but it was a freak accident in a scramble — these things happen when you train hard.
The back injury came from overtraining (my fault), and the rib injury came from an accident.
Additionally, I have been working with Electrum Performance in San Diego all year long for strength and conditioning. I’m following a more structured workout program that is helping me stay stronger on the mat. Especially considering that I have changed weight classes, this has been a great investment for me.
I’m not sponsored by them but I definitely recommend you check out Electrum.
Here are some other random health notes from this year so far:
Coffee has been destroying my gut — my morning routine was always to wake up and have a fasted cup of coffee while writing, but my stomach is starting to become sensitive. This is a habit I am working on changing by eating a light breakfast.
Warming up before training is becoming more and more important. I’m still not allowed to say I’m old (but I’ll be 27 in August which sounds pretty freakin’ old to me) but with my existing injuries, it’s essential that I get my body extra loose before training. When I’m warmed up, I feel 22. When I’m not, I feel 42.
Supplements definitely work. I’ve been working with my nutrition coach Ryan’s supplement company called “The WhatSupp Pack” this year (make sure you follow them as their packages will become available to everyone soon), and having a regular supply of creatine and other supplements coming in has been extremely beneficial for me in terms of improving my performance on the mat. I don’t take the magic supplements that will get me banned from the IBJJF, but a little supplementation can go a long way.
The 2 most important recovery tools are a low-stress lifestyle and a good sleep schedule. When I’m overstressed, I go through this vicious cycle of not being able to sleep, stressing out about not being able to sleep, and then suffering in terms of on-the-mat performance and quality of life. If you want to perform on the mat, you need to recover. Sleep well and don’t get stressed out over dumb shit.
I’m stronger than I’ve been in years. A few months back, I did a squat-focused lifting program and at the end of the program, I managed to squat 305 for the first time in a few years, the first time ever without a belt, and this was after a hard Jiu-Jitsu practice. I’ve made a lot of strides in my strength training.
Writing/Business
I like to think that I’m a pretty good writer.
Business stuff, on the other hand, is not as easy for me.
Earlier this year, I was really struggling with money and getting work and selling my digital products and all that stuff. I won’t bitch about it too much because I’m past that period, but I will be honest with you: it was really hard.
In March, I stumbled upon a ghostwriting job that was helping me pull through, but it was making me a bit miserable. It wasn’t the job per se, it was trying to do the job while also trying to train, compete, travel for seminars, and everything else.
I swear my hair was about to start falling out.
The only reason I have been able to do full-time Jiu-Jitsu for this long without becoming a soulless, miserable man driving Uber is because of writing on the internet. I want to help people learn how to build a better life through digital writing.
I also think that running my own online business is a sort of self-actualization. It’s something that I have wanted to do since I was 19 and in college and realizing how much I hated school, but I never did it because I thought I didn’t have the knowledge, the experience, or the time to do it.
The lesson I learned, and the lesson I will give to you as I close this section is this:
You will never know if you can do something unless you stop giving a f*ck what internal and external critics think of you and just give it a try.
Oh, and if you like reading my writing, subscribe to The Modern Writer.
Personal Life/Relationships
In last year’s Mid-Year reflection, this section was titled “Personal Life/Fulfillment” because I was a few months into knowing my girlfriend and I didn’t know a damn thing about long-lasting relationships.
I was pretty stupid in many different areas of my personal life.
This year, I’ve had an incredibly satisfying year personally. I’ve worked on some really fun projects, like getting my book nearly ready for publishing, creating the new writing business that I talked about above, traveling to Europe to compete and explore with my beautiful partner, and even going to Africa for the first time.
In April, after a year of doing long-distance, my girlfriend and I officially stopped being long-distance and started being an Austin-based couple.
We drove from San Diego to Austin over 2 days to move her in.
The drive was a doozy. My back hated it, I was constantly sneezing because of our lovely dogs, we had to stop every hour and a half because I have a tiny bladder and an addiction to drinking bubbly beverages, and we didn’t sleep well at all.
However, like everything in a relationship that is challenging, we get through it.
Again, I don’t know everything about love and relationships, but I do know this:
Your relationship is not measured by the good times. People always say on social media “OMG you guys are so perfect” or something like this, and I feel like this puts unnecessary pressure on both of us. Yes — the highlight reel looks perfect because, in that moment or series of moments, it pretty much is.
However, a relationship is really measured by how you handle challenges and tough times, not by how perfect the perfect moments look.
I don’t talk about dating much on here because I feel like I’m not even a blue belt in it, but I will say that if you want to have a good relationship, you need to work at it. You need to make having a good relationship your priority the same way you would do anything you want to do well.
Relationships, like Jiu-Jitsu and writing, are a craft.
Mental Health
This article is already longer than I had planned it to be. Oops.
The last section of this article is about mental health — something that is very near and dear to me. I talk about it a lot on here because for me as an athlete and a writer (and now a person in a long-term relationship), mental health is kind of the foundation that everything is built around. If mental health sucks, even good things seem shitty.
Personally, I deal with anxiety and depression at times.
It is not this thing that stops me from doing things I want to do. Instead, my mental health (when it’s bad) makes everything that I do miserable, full of doubt, and deeply unpleasant.
Like the therapist I saw a few years ago used to say, it’s like a bully in your brain follows you around and tries to ruin your day. If you let it, it will.
What’s scary is that you sometimes don’t even know that depression is affecting your life until you zoom out and think about what you're doing and why you’re doing it.
Why aren’t you putting yourself out there? Why aren’t you sleeping? Why are you working so hard that you are literally going to break down? Why are you angry? Why are you scared to talk to your friends?
These are little things at the moment, and you might miss what’s causing them if you never zoom out and reflect, kind of like how I’m doing right now.
“Oh, I won’t talk to new people today. I’m tired.”
“Oh, one sleepless night never hurt anyone.”
“Everyone gets angry.”
Choosing to ignore all these things is a choice.
I won’t riff on this too much more, but the point is that mental health is challenging, essential, and subtle. Pay attention to the small things and don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s kind of a Catch-22 in that way.
You need to care, but not too much that the caring becomes a problem.
Here’s an article on things that help me deal with my anxiety:
Closing Thoughts
At the end of last year, I set the following goals:
Significant technical improvement in Jiu-Jitsu
Teach more Jiu-Jitsu
Travel less and only travel to places I want to go
Win an ADCC Trials
Publish the book I mentioned
Rebuild my freelance writing clientele
Build a new life in Austin with my new gym and girlfriend
Create some new writing projects to scratch some itches that I haven’t been able to satisfy
To close, here’s my analysis of how I’ve done with those goals:
I have made significant technical improvements in my Jiu-Jitsu. If you look at my matches from last year versus this year’s West Coast Trials specifically, I’m a completely different grappler. In particular, I’ve gotten really good at escaping bad positions, wrestling, and I’ve worked a lot on wrestling up from the guard,
I haven’t really taught as much more Jiu-Jitsu as I would have liked, apart from seminars. If you’d like to book me for a seminar in the second half of the year, shoot me a message on Instagram here.
My goal of traveling less has been pretty easy, to be honest. I haven't traveled much this year and I’ve gone to some pretty cool places. After ADCC, my girlfriend and I will be going to France for a week. If you have travel recommendations for France, reply to this email and let me know.
I didn’t win an ADCC Trials, but I guess, as they say, being lucky is better than being good. I’ll be making my ADCC debut in August and I’m really excited.
Due to taking so many writing clients this spring, the book I’ve been working on got put on hold back in March. I’m hoping to release my first book late this summer or early this fall. It’s basically done, I just am learning that I have a lot to learn about the book publishing process apart from just writing.
I rebuilt the writing clientele, and I hated it. I hope I don’t ever have to do that again…
The new life in Austin is definitely being built. It’s been a lot of hard work for both me and my lady, but it’s been really fun. Seeing new things, making new friends, and creating amazing memories. More to come.
New writing projects have been created and I’m making more. One actually will be launched in the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.
And that’s really it.
We’re halfway through the year. There have been high highs, low lows, and everything in between. Good days, bad days, and days that have blurred together. It’s been a helluva year so far, and it’s just halfway done.
If you made it this far, I know this was a long article and I know it was a lot about me. Hopefully, you’re cool with that and maybe you even got something out of this.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned this year?
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week’s episode features my coach — Jeff Serafin!
Jeff is the head instructor at Serafin BJJ, a partner at Gym 1801, and a black belt under Jack McVicker and Megaton Dias. He’s also the man who gave me my black belt.
In this episode, Jeff advocates for fostering a healthy gym culture and reducing dogma in Jiu-Jitsu.
Topics include: identifying and avoiding toxic gym cultures, ego management in training, and strategies for pairing students to ensure safety and learning.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts or just hit this link.
“The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” — Henry David Thoreau
Most men struggle their whole lives to find purpose, meaning, and a sense of belonging in this cold, dark world.
Likewise, the mass of men do not own Brolos.
I’m not saying it’s a coincidence, but I’m not saying it’s not a coincidence.
Don’t be like the mass of men. You were born to stand out.
Oh, and use “Chris10” at check out so you can get a discount.
Also published this week:
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