The Word I'm Trying to Live By In 2025
Better late than never.
Every year for the last 5, I’ve selected a word that I use as the theme for my goals and plans for the year.
Here’s the last 4 years:
2021: Hustle — I was fresh out of college and beginning my adult life
2022: Experience — It was my first year at the highest levels of Jiu-Jitsu
2023: Tests — It was a non-ADCC year, so I experimented a lot
2024: Building — I focused on building stability toward bigger goals
This is a natural progression. I started out just grinding obsessively because I was in a sink-or-swim situation. Then, I started focusing on gaining experience (also known as knowledge) in the things that I had success with during the “grind” phase. Then, I used the knowledge to test myself, and I finally took the results of the tests and went back to the drawing board to build my ideal day and life.
But what about this year?
This year is weird because last year was so good. How do we make it even better?
Here’s what I’m focused on in 2025.
My word is “strength”. But what does that mean?
Strength means different things to different people.
To some, it means being able to lift a lot of weight. For others, it means being resilient to failure. Some people even think of strength as the ability to not fail.
I wrote a definition of strength when I was younger and I have tried to outgrow it, but I keep coming back to it:
Strength is the ability to transcend pain.
That sounds dark and maybe it is, but I think that strength by the definition that I listed above is the most valuable thing that you can develop in any sort of competitive field.
This kind of strength means being able to take the pain in your life (and we all have pain) and transcend it for good. It means to find light in the darkness. It means to face your fears, lean into discomfort (a kind of pain), and live not as if it weren’t there, but as if you don’t care that it’s there.
True strength is a disregard for the things that make most people weak.
To feel the scary things or the painful things and to move forward anyway. To be durable, resilient, peaceful, and disciplined.
Strength is the ability to take normal human “pain” and turn it into something beautiful.
Why do I need to be stronger?
Early in 2024, I was focused on my “building” goal.
One thing I was really focused on was building strength.
I was extremely disciplined with my Jiu-Jitsu training, my weight training, my writing, and all of my other goals.
There was just one big problem:
My results were lagging behind my efforts.
I was completely broke, had thousands of dollars of credit card debt, and my Jiu-Jitsu career felt like it was slipping away. I had no competition prospects and I didn’t really want to compete. I even started ghostwriting for an agency for a while, which was a great learning experience but also extremely draining. I grew to hate writing, I was sick of Jiu-Jitsu, and I put pretty much all of my personal business projects on the back burner for a while.
I also injured my back twice, competed in some of the biggest tournaments of my career to end the year, and competed in a wide range of weight classes. Things were bad, they got better, and while I think it made for a good story, it was hard to focus on becoming a stronger and better version of myself.
Even after things turned around for me, my resolve and resilience were tested constantly last year.
It’s impossible to focus on building strength when you’re constantly testing it.
I’ve taken 2 steps forward in my career but 1 step back in my health. 2025 is about taking it back.
So how do we get stronger?
The problem with vague words that we can use to improve our lives is that while they make nice articles and social media posts, without actionable steps, you’re just virtue signaling.
Don’t be that person.
Here are some action steps that I am taking toward building strength in 2025:
Physical strength: I’m focusing more on strength and conditioning, especially in the early parts of this year. This means smarter workouts, more workouts, and a heavier focus on diet, recovery, and nutrition. I’m also not scheduled to compete yet this year, meaning I have some time to focus on improving my strength and my technique before we get into competitions again. It’s time for the winter arc, and not just because I’m eating more (although I am).
Mental strength: Trying to be a grappling writer is not for the faint of heart. Lots of self-doubt, pain, and stress. To improve my mental strength, I’m focusing heavy on my mental health. I am journaling regularly, reading a lot, limiting social media usage, eating well, and sleeping as best I can. Being a writer and athlete together means that I must work hard on my physical and mental fitness.
Emotional strength: Emotional strength is the ability to endure situations that challenge your emotions. Things that are tough in your work, your personal life, or even in Jiu-Jitsu. My goal is to work on controlling my emotions better, which means studying philosophy, getting to a lower baseline of stress, and taking good care of my mental health. It also means maintaining “play” in my life. One of my main goals is to take on some new, fun projects in 2025.
As the core elements improve, there should be a trickle-down effect. I will be physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger, and as the efforts on my mind and my work compound, I will hopefully be intellectually and financially stronger as well.
Closing Thoughts
My goal in January of next year is to be physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than I was in January of this year.
I spent last year building stability so that this year, I can focus on durability and strength. I was kind of a punching bag last year in the name of “building”. Losses, injuries, financial struggle, massive tests, and more. It was a brutal year.
During the holidays, my girlfriend had a realization that it was kind of the first time all year that we didn’t have our backs against the wall. The first time that there wasn’t something super big right and stressful right around the corner.
As much as my younger self would hate to admit it, strength is the ability to transcend the pain in your life. To turn discomfort into power. To turn fear into excitement.
To stare headfirst into the abyss not with terror, but with a grin. With an open mind. With excitement at possibilities.
And with that, I want to tell you about something that I’ve been working on for a long time:
I wrote a book!
And now, you can pre-order the Kindle version.
A Grappler's Diary: 151 Notes on the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Experience is officially available for pre-order.
I wrote this book over the last 2 years.
These years were some of the most transformational years of my Jiu-Jitsu career. I moved my whole life for training, competed in ADCC, suffered some devastating injuries and losses, and traveled the world teaching and competing.
I learned some things about our sport, myself, and the world, and I tried to break them down into clear and concise notes as they happened. Like a journal (or a "diary").
This book contains personal stories, training tips, and even some life lessons (but I promise not an annoying amount of those).
(The paperback will be available for purchase on 1/13/2025)
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week we're joined by Max Schneider! Max is a BJJ black belt under Justin Flores, as well as a national Judo champion and Olympic alternate, 2x Illinois state wrestling champion, and former D1 wrestler.
In this episode, Max explores the philosophy and techniques behind safe and effective takedown training. Topics include the importance of warmup and falling techniques, various types of breakfalls, the differences in approach between Judo and Jiu-Jitsu, adapting techniques to various body types, and integrating foot sweeps as low-risk takedown options.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts or just hit this link.
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That is one impressive definition of strength for a young man whenever you initially wrote that!
This article/reflection on your previous year is already demonstrating some of that mental strength you’re alluding to. Transcending the building and adversity you went through to get to where you are now.
Congrats on everything to this point and looking forward to reading the book that I already preordered 👊🏻