This Simple Habit Helps Me Overcome All of My Doubts
You're not going to like it.
I tend to think that things are a lot easier than they really are.
I also tend to think that things are a lot more difficult than they really are.
In terms of moving my whole life to Texas to chase a dream in Jiu-Jitsu, it was really hard to leave my friends and family, nearly impossible to re-structure my career so I could keep the lights on, and it was damn lonely for the first few months.
I didn’t have friends, I didn’t really have a source of income, and I mostly just felt like an insane person, all the time.
However, at the same time, I signed a lease on an apartment on a Friday last July, and by the following Thursday, I was in Texas moving in. I just put stuff in the car and drove down with my mom and dad.
It didn’t require much planning. It was very simple.
By the following Monday, my family was gone and I was mostly settled.
It was both extremely difficult and extremely easy, as are most ordeals that you try to take on in your life.
This is the simple habit that helps do everything that I don’t think I can do.
The power of momentum.
Every day, I go to Jiu-Jitsu training at noon.
I train for 2 hours. It’s very hard. Even the easy days are hard.
After training, I get home, have a shower, and make some food. I read a bit at this time, check my email, do work tasks that don't require deep focus, and relax. After all the hard training I do, I need an hour to rest.
Then, at around 4 or 4:15, I go to the gym to lift weights. I always go at this time so that I am leaving the gym around the time that the post-work 5 o’clock crew is heading in. Gotta beat the rush.
Either way, every time I go to the gym for the second workout, it’s really hard to get going. After resting, eating, and doing my hardest workout of the day, it’s really hard to convince myself to get up and go lift heavy weights.
The reason is that I kill all my momentum when I rest after training. By 2 pm, I have done several hours of writing and 2 hours of brutal training. Doing anything after this is hard, but what really makes it hard is that I have stopped moving.
A body in motion stays in motion, and a body sitting in his chair reading his book probably doesn’t want to go squat in 30 minutes.
The wheels have fallen off the metaphorical bus that is my gas tank, and I need to do “something” to get it back together.
A car with no gas can roll down a hill for miles effortlessly, but a car full of gas has to work extra hard to get moving up the hill.
For some reason, I never miss a workout.
There are lots of reasons to skip workouts or take days off of any other habit you’re trying to build.
For me:
It’s 100 degrees here in Texas
Half my rounds at BJJ today were ADCC vets and I’m exhausted and my ego has been shattered
I have an injury
I could be writing
I didn’t eat enough
Whatever.
You should notice how these are all excuses. That’s kind of the point.
The reasons for you to not do the things you want to do are always going to outnumber the reasons why you should. However, they will never outweigh them.
On the surface, there are only 2 reasons why I should lift weights:
I want to be strong
Lifting today contributes to a lifting habit, which makes me strong
These are the only reasons I will go to the gym, yet I always do.
How to do things you don’t think you can do.
I get anxious sometimes and I start to believe that I can’t do things.
That I can’t be a good grappler or writer or partner or person. I get anxiety that freezes me up. The anxiety I feel is similar to the kill in my momentum after taking a break in the middle of a hard training day.
Anxiety is a fear of the future and as a response, I often find myself holding onto the moment I’m in right now. I freeze when I am experiencing a lot of anxiety.
One way that I have found to get myself moving again (both in anxiety and when I’m tired) comes from challenging the beliefs that I have about the world and my place in it.
A key belief that a lot of the most successful people that I know have (and one that I’m trying to drill into myself) is that where I am right now is exactly where I am supposed to be.
If I am somewhere good, it’s because I have earned it. If it’s somewhere bad, it’s because there is something that I need to learn. Either way, this way of thinking forces me to act instead of think. Action cures anxiety and thinking makes it worse.
The point is not that you need to believe in yourself to be successful (you don’t). The point is that in order to do something well at all you need to stop thinking about whether you should be doing it. You need to stop freezing.
You need to create momentum. The way you do this is by attempting to alter your beliefs about where you are.
Challenge your belief system by putting one foot in front of the other.
Back to the gym metaphor:
Every day, I get home from training, have my lunch, and usually talk to my girlfriend, and then I start to get the doubt.
I start to feel like I could not, would not, and should not be able to lift weights later that day. I doubt whether the gym is a place that I am supposed to be. I start to think about where I am, where I’m going, and a bunch of other things that are not what I am doing right now — which usually either either reading or writing.
The way that I get myself back on track is the same way you get yourself to start that business you want to build or do that other thing that you don’t think you can do.
Start taking action — even when you’re filled with doubt. Even if you don’t think you’re a good person or that you have the energy to train or lift, just go and try.
Everyone has doubts in the beginning. You earn the right to be doubt-free through consistent action.
Closing Thoughts
I’m an overthinker, so this article is oriented from a place of trying to get you to think less and act more.
But that doesn’t mean that thinking is bad. Thinking is good — everyone should aim to think as deeply as they can.
However, your thinking should never stop you from doing what you need to do. You should never be unable to be where you are because you are trapped in your mind. If you want to overcome your doubts, you need to act despite them.
Corny? Maybe.
Whatever. The world today is full of anxiety-driven people trying to tell anxiety-ridden people how to live.
All I’ll tell you to do this:
Act. Even when you’re scared, act. Action creates momentum, momentum creates comfort, and comfort will make you forget what you were even scared of in the first place. The joy and novelty of getting started overtake the fear and familiarity of inaction started very quickly.
Acting on things is how you start to feel like you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
It’s almost like it’s in your nature, or something.
The catch is that you have to act first.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week’s episode features Lyzz "Daemonette" Mitrovic! Lyzz is a multi-time black belt masters world champion and a longtime member of the BJJ Mental Models Premium community.
Lyzz will be competing at ADCC this year after earning her entry via victory at the ADCC West Coast Trials.
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It’s 100 degrees in Texas right now.
Hence my cranky face in this picture.
It’s no way to live.
But you know what makes it worse?
Sleeves.
The problem I run into is that I want to look good, feel good, an not be weighed down by sleeves when I’m out on the town.
That’s when my Brolo comes in.
Light, comfortable, and more stylish than fashion week in New York, the Brolo is the ultimate solution to your summer style woes.
Pick one up today — and use “Chris10” at check out.
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