27 Lessons From 27 Years of Life
I can smell the Master's division.
This week on Wednesday, I had my 27th birthday.
I spent some time that day reflecting, thinking, and reading through some of my journals and writings from the last year.
Here are the 27 most important lessons I learned before I turned 27:
Don’t take advice from people who aren’t doing what you want to do. Don’t take advice from people who are visibly unhappy.
The easiest performance hack is to simplify your life. The more random shit you need to be happy and optimizations you need, the more complicated your life becomes, and this will decrease your ability to perform.
You don’t need to work your hardest every day. You don’t need to train your hardest every day. The process is a story and the day is just a page. Do more things by feel.
Do not be jealous of someone unless you would switch lives with them 100%. Even then, you can’t. Jealousy is a barrier between you and your best. It’s a distraction from what really matters.
Just because you won does not mean you did well. Just because you lost does not mean you performed badly. Learn to use your own metrics to determine progress as opposed to the default ones. I learned this with when I won a gold medal and got my foot broken in the process.
The right people are easy to be around. The wrong people are draining. The problem is that there’s only one way to find out if you’re around the right people. If you’re like me, fight your natural desire to be a hermit.
A lot of people give up their ambitions for paychecks of $30–50k per year. Your dreams may have a price, but at least make it high.
In order to build a dream, you are going to have to endure the nightmare first. This is the test to see if you are worthy.
“Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love” — Rainer Maria Rilke
Traveling is better when you do it with loved ones. Solo travel is cool but overrated.
Training room warriors are never remembered. Every time I’ve chosen to tap early, skip a round, or “live to fight another day”, I’ve felt regret at the moment but like I’ve made the right choice on the drive home.
The luckiest people are usually also the people who put themselves out there the most. I’m honestly not sure if “luck” is real or if it is simply manufactured by consistent action.
Rest, recovery, and health become more important as you get older, but the habits you create when you’re younger usually define your ability to rest and recover well. Because of this, one of the most underrated aspects of fitness is adaptability.
The easiest way to build a new business is to monetize your current skill set, not to create a new skill set. When you start something new you’re starting a new game and you must allow time for your skills to catch up. This inevitably is going to slow you down.
Writing a book is really hard. It’s also about a lot more than just writing.
The easy option is easy for a reason. Take everything that falls into your lap with a grain of salt.
The biggest cause of anxiety for me is an inability to be where I am. Trying to work when I need to rest. Trying to rest when I need to work. Learn to go with the flow and you will achieve more and decrease your anxiety significantly.
Icarus died because he flew too close to the sun. I threw out my back a while ago because I trained too hard without sleeping or resting. If you don’t know your limits, life will find them for you.
Don’t be afraid to throw some cash around. I don’t mean it in a “flex on them haters” kind of way but in an “invest in yourself” kind of way. Buy courses, books, experiences, etc — don’t be too frugal to invest in the life you want. This will also motivate you to make more “smart money” — money that hits your bank account while you’re sleeping.
No one really remembers your failures and failure is the best way to determine where you’re really at. Embrace failure, pursue failure, and don’t take it too personally when things don’t work out — it’s just data.
What got you here won’t get you there. I got to a pretty high level in Jiu-Jitsu living and training in Chicago. I got to an even higher level (into ADCC!) training in a loosely structured professional room. To prepare for ADCC, we’ve been doing a highly structured training camp. Every level requires just a bit more focus.
A good relationship is like anything in your life that you want to do well — a balance between work and flow. It should be easy and challenging simultaneously. Don’t run at the first sign of conflict.
Love is not so much about the good moments or the bad moments, it’s about the little moments. Most of life is the little moments. The person you’re best to be with is the person who you don’t mind doing nothing with. This is the person you’ll want to spend the grand moments with.
Your best bet is to befriend the people who are better than you. Ride their wave to elevate yourself. Just do it tastefully. You don’t need to be the main character all the time.
The 3 main pillars of being an athlete are sleep, nutrition, and training. Everything else is splitting hairs and non-essential if you’re not getting these 3. But also, don’t beat yourself up over a bad day of eating, training, or sleep. A calm mind is more important than people give it credit for.
Being busy is always draining, eventually. Create a lifestyle where you have idle moments throughout the day. A peaceful coffee in the morning, an evening walk, an afternoon siesta. A key part of longevity is to stop optimizing every moment.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week’s episode features Tom "TP" Grant! Tom Grant, also known by the writer's handle TP Grant, is a BJJ black belt under Issac Riggs and an MMA/BJJ writer best known for his work at Bloody Elbow and Bleacher Report.
In this episode, Tom discusses the importance of adapting on the fly. Techniques are rarely executed exactly as taught; they're usually improvised.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts or just hit this link.
So it was my birthday this week.
My girlfriend asked me what I wanted, but I couldn’t tell her. I already have everything I want.
I have a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, I’m competing at ADCC next week, and most importantly, I have multiple Brolos in my possession. I’m wearing one right now, like I do every week when I write this blurb for you.
What else can I really ask for?
Oh wait, there’s actually one thing…
I’m asking YOU, my dear reader, to pick up a Brolo. There are nearly a dozen variations, some sexy designs, and it’s the coolest golf shirt I’ve ever seen and owned.
Use “Chris10” at check out to get 10% off.
Also published this week:
The Black Belt Survival Guide
I got my black belt in April of 2021, and I thought it was the end of a long journey.
If you enjoyed reading this article, share it with friends! Or, click on the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack!
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