The Hard Truth About Discipline
It's not what you think it is.
When I was a 19-year-old Jiu-Jitsu blue belt, I had an insane training schedule.
I was living with my parents (who were kindly humoring my Jiu-Jitsu dream since I’d just transferred out of a major university and didn’t have much going for me), taking 14 credits at a local college (a pretty average amount), and I didn’t have very many friends or a girlfriend at the time. I was socially anxious, depressed, and pretty lost.
I wasn’t in the best place in my “life” per se, but I was definitely in the best place to train like a lunatic until I got good at Jiu-Jitsu.
I went to every single Jiu-Jitsu class at my gym. I lifted weights at 5am before school every day, went to school, trained at noon, went back to school, did homework, and then went back at night. I hardly slept and my personal life was a mess, but I made a lot of progress both in BJJ, the gym, and even academically.
I stuck to my routines, I pushed my body past its limits, and I found out that I was capable of a lot more than I had initially thought.
It’s funny because when I look back at that routine, although now I make more money, do Jiu-Jitsu “full-time”, and compete at a much higher level, that period was definitely the hardest of my career.
I was miserable even though I was “disciplined”.
Falling back into my old ways.
When I was younger, I thought that my discipline was determined by my ability to stick with my training routines and work routines.
When I finally got out of college and started living on my own and running my own online business, I fell into a new version of my old routine.
I would train at 7am, write all morning, lift at noon, write in the afternoon, teach in the evening, and usually hammer out some more content at my desk while eating dinner. I was easily working 12-14 hour days.
I thought that this made me “disciplined”. I thought that because I was “putting in the work”, I was doing everything that I possibly could to do as well for myself as I could.
Nonetheless, my old pal burnout started to creep into my life once again.
But my burnout wasn’t just a sense of not wanting to do the work. It manifested in physical symptoms, like getting sick frequently, insomnia, and a greater risk of getting skin infections (including the nasty ones like Staph).
I was overdoing it pretty much from the time I graduated college until the time I won $5000 and took 4th in the ADCC Trials for the first time. I craved a vacation from the time I started writing online until the time I finally took my first trip to Italy.
Discipline is not about a streak of good days.
Life inevitably forces you out of your routine at times.
Sometimes, you get sick or injured. Sometimes, you have a failure that forces you to take some time away from “the grind”. Sometimes you just need a break so you take one.
What makes you disciplined is not your ability to string together “good” days. What makes you disciplined is your ability to adapt and continue making progress.
Discipline is not about working out every morning. Discipline is not still getting your workout in when you have an emergency meeting in the morning and then you get a flat tire. I would consider these things things you’re supposed to do.
Discipline is missing a workout (or 5) because you’re sick or because an emergency happened and then getting back to the daily effort as soon as you can. It’s about being resilient to excuses.
If you are never forced out of routine, how do we know you’re really disciplined? Maybe you just have an easy life (and there’s something to this as well).
Discipline is not tested by sticking to a routine, it’s tested by your response to challenges.
Discipline goes far deeper than doing the things you ought to do.
Recently, I felt kind of directionless.
You may or may not have read a sappy article (or 4) of mine about how I didn’t really know what to do next. About how I had worked so hard for this milestone, and then when I was finally allowed to take my foot off the gas — but I didn’t want to because I was scared that I’d stop moving.
It was a whole thing.
And that takes us to what is kind of the big idea here.
You need to have the discipline to be fluid. To be where you are, even if it is a bit uncomfortable. To pursue excellence over the ego-satisfaction of following a generic routine.
You need the discipline to change your approach without wavering from your goal. The discipline to unravel everything you are to become everything can be. The discipline to transcend where you’ve been so that you can go where you’re meant to go.
After ADCC, I felt directionless because that was a normal reaction to my circumstances. I didn’t need to have another goal to make myself feel happy, I needed to have the discipline to be where I was. To let myself work without strict constraints for a while.
For me, discipline is not about simply sticking to a routine and making progress. It’s about finding new ways to constantly work toward my goal of continuous progress.
Closing Thoughts
I learned the hard truth about discipline through making mistakes.
Over the years, I’ve followed dozens of different training routines. I’ve had periods where I’ve felt insanely motivated and ambitious, and I’ve also had periods where I’ve kind of hated my work and wanted to quit. I’ve had periods with tons of frequent competition and I’ve had periods with not very much at all.
I’ve also had periods of my life where I had a lot going on off the mat. I had a period earlier this year where I was writing “full-time” for a ghostwriting agency. I had another period where I was teaching 5+ classes per week and private lessons while writing 6 articles online per week.
Throughout everything, only 2 things have remained constant:
A consistent writing habit
A near-daily devotion to improving at Jiu-Jitsu
And because of those 2 objectives that I have stuck to, I’m where I am now.
Who knows where I’ll be in a decade?
The thing I’m most confident in is that I will be somewhere. I won’t be giving up any time soon.
The truth about discipline is that it’s a lifelong game, not a weeklong, monthlong, or even yearlong one.
The Grappler’s Diary is sponsored by BJJ Mental Models, the world’s #1 Jiu-Jitsu podcast!
This week we're joined by Josh Vogel!
Alongside his wife Angie, Josh is a co-founder and head instructor at The Jiu Jitsu Company in Old City, Philadelphia.
In this episode, Josh emphasizes the importance of structured class curriculums and a project-based focus, where students develop their skills through specific, measurable 90-day projects targeting various techniques.
To listen, look up BJJ Mental Models wherever you listen to your podcasts or just hit this link.
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