The Year-End Reflection 2024
What I learned, read, and ate this year.
Today is the last Friday of 2024.
This year, I was focused on “building”. I’ve built my skills and experienced a lot of growth in my career, personal life, Jiu-Jitsu skills, and much more.
Over the last 12 months, I:
Competed 7 times in 3 different countries
Competed in ADCC — the biggest tournament of my life
Moved in with my beautiful girlfriend
Visited Croatia, Spain, Morocco, and France with my beautiful girlfriend
Published 161 articles on Substack (the last 2 come out on Monday and Tuesday)
Published more than 250 written posts on Instagram
Gone thousands of dollars into credit card debt
Paid it all off
Injured my back multiple times
Became a Twitter ghostwriter
Quit Twitter ghostwriting
Became a book ghostwriter
Released my best instructional ever
Finished writing and preparing to release my first book
And much more.
Last year, when I wrote my year-end reflection, I focused more on the story of the year. From traveling to moving to competing. This year, however, I have been more analytical with this. It’s more of a review than a reflection.
In this article, I’m going to focus on the 5 major buckets of my life and how the story of my year impacted them.
This article is wide-ranging and very much about me and what I did this year. Hopefully, some of my insights can help you in the different buckets of your life.
Best case scenario my year-end reflection inspires you to write one of your own.
With all that said, the 5 major buckets of my life are:
Jiu-Jitsu
Health and Fitness
Writing/Business
Personal Life/Relationships
Mental Health
Feel free to skip around, read only what is relevant and interesting to you, and then move on.
At the end of this article, I’ve also compiled a list of the best things I’ve consumed this year. Everything from tweets to books to meals — this list covers all of my favorites from one of my favorite years.
So without further ado, let’s jump in.
Oh, and thank you so much for reading The Grappler’s Diary this year.
Part 1: Jiu-Jitsu
I’m a much better grappler than I was 12 months ago.
Here are the main areas of Jiu-Jitsu that I have improved at:
Wrestling
Training IQ
Applying training to competition
Wrestling
In my wrestling, I think my improvement was best demonstrated at ADCC when I got a foot sweep against an ADCC legend.
My wrestling was gradually improving throughout the year but it really hit a peak during the ADCC camp when I was forcing myself to wrestle every single session. I was pushing myself really hard in the wrestling department. My growth in wrestling extended also to improvements from the turtle and front headlock positions, which were key in my run at ADCC.
Wrestling is a neverending battle for me and something I work on at least a little bit every day, but I made a lot of improvements in it this year.
Training IQ
This is a big one.
The way that I train now is very different from the way that I used to train. This isn’t because I do more positional sparring now, because I train with better partners, or because now I have a lock named after me. This is because I understand training intensity and training for specific goals a lot better.
I train at varying levels of intensity throughout the week and throughout a camp based on how my body is doing, how close I am to peaking, and what skills I need to work on.
Instead of just vaguely trying to get better, I’ve been working on my ability to train better. I’m training to get better at training so that I can get better skills so that I perform better when I am competing.
Viewing training as something more than just a requirement for winning at a competition has been a game-changer.
Applying training to competition.
Ironically, this has come from competing less.
For a long time, I competed a ton. Last year, I competed 14 times. This year, I competed half that much but earned twice as good of results and much bigger wins than I’ve ever had.
Part of this is because I’m training smarter, but I’m also training more consciously now. I work on the skills every day that I need for several weeks before a competition so that by the time the competition comes around I’m actually able to use them.
Before competitions now, I have specific goals that I am working on besides just “winning”.
At ADCC, my goal was to hit a takedown. At PGF and EBI, my main goal was to hit a choke or upper body sub — not just leg locks. I achieved all 3 of these goals even though I didn’t reach my main goal of winning the entire competition.
It’s all about incremental progress.
Part 2: Health and Fitness
Being a professional athlete in a grueling combat sport like Jiu-Jitsu, my relationship with health and fitness has become a bit strained over the years.
In the early days of my Jiu-Jitsu career, back before herniated discs and overuse injuries, I used to lift heavy 3 days per week, eat whatever I wanted, sleep 5 hours per night, and just get after it every time I got on the mat. I was fueled by teenage angst and enough espresso to make me see my thoughts.
Nowadays, things are changing. At 27 I am not “old” but I am definitely no longer young. My habits matter a lot more now than they used to.
In the first half of the year, I dealt with some minor injuries. I tweaked my back, injured my rib, and my ankle was dislocating on the regular.
Just 3 days after I published the Mid-Year Reflection (about 6 weeks before ADCC), I threw out my back again. It was brutal and the worst injury I’ve had in years.
Over the final weeks of the ADCC camp, my back got incrementally better and I finished the year with 6 months of relatively good health (besides getting hospitalized for MRSA in September lol).
I felt so good about my health this fall that I wanted to challenge myself even more in terms of diet and fitness and I decided to cut down from about 193 pounds to 170 pounds to compete at EBI. I leaned out, was a little moody for a few weeks, and hated it, but I’m proud that I did it.
Here are 3 key lessons for me in terms of health and fitness from this year:
Processed sugar is the enemy (but I love it). The toughest period for me in terms of health this year was ADCC camp. During that period, I was training hard but also eating a lot of desserts. I wasn’t sleeping well, my body didn’t feel good, and my anxiety was really bad. During the EBI weight cut, I cut out sugar almost completely and all these issues went away. Although I do love cake, I’m being much more careful about my sugar intake nowadays.
My favorite supplement is a nice long walk. I take a few supplements: creatine, protein powder, electrolytes, magnesium, and occasionally melatonin or chamomile for sleep, but nothing seems to help me calm down and focus quite like a nice long walk with my girlfriend and our 2 dogs.
Diet and sleep are closely related and deeply essential for performance on and off the mat. When my sleep is bad, I am more likely to eat badly and perform badly. When my diet is bad, it affects my sleep and my performance as well. A major goal for next year is to optimize my diet (both in food quality and volume) and my sleep as best as possible.
Part 3: Writing/Business
Trying to run an online business in addition to doing Jiu-Jitsu full-time presents its own set of challenges.
This year, I’ve had 3 writing businesses going on at once:
Ghostwriting
The Grappler’s Diary
In April and May, I was ghostwriting Twitter content full-time.
This was fun for a while, but the workload was demanding and I was getting burned out. I had 11 clients.
I also found I hated working in a corporate environment — even if it was all remote.
The second I got into ADCC, I stopped ghostwriting for a bit because the job changed and wasn't really about writing anymore. It was a lot of time, not great money, and the company I worked with at the time had us doing most of our writing with AI by the end.
I honestly thought my ghostwriting days were over.
Then, a friend from my days writing on Medium reached out about writing books for his company, so I decided to take that on. Currently, I’m ghostwriting 2 books (and about to release my own!).
My labor of love has been this newsletter.
The Grappler’s Diary has more than doubled in Instagram followers this year and increased in email subscribers by 30%. This is also the writing project I think I have the most fun with.
The Grappler’s Diary puts out roughly 7-8 posts per week and in 2025 I have a lot of new ideas for ways to reach a broader audience.
I also created a second newsletter this year.
My last main writing project has been The Modern Writer, a second newsletter I started back in January. With this publication, I did something that might not make sense: I just wrote it and did nothing to promote it, nothing to monetize it, and didn’t really have a vision for it.
The page has grown from 0 to nearly 700 subscribers off of no promotion (besides recommending it on The Grappler’s Diary) and just writing and I’m pleasantly surprised by that. Now, after a year of work, I have goals and a vision for the Modern Writer in 2025 — but you’ll have to subscribe to learn all about that. If you like writing and want to learn how to do it better and maybe even make money off it, I believe that this newsletter is becoming a solid free resource and it’ll be an even better one in 2025.
Finally, I am releasing my first book.
This year has been very busy in terms of writing, so I had to put some passion projects on the back burner for a bit. One of those was my first book, which I finished writing back in January, editing in June, and reviewing in November.
There was also a learning curve for writing that book — I had to learn about editors, Amazon formatting, the publishing process, and more.
However, after more hours than I can count, I can officially say that my first book, A Grappler’s Diary: 151 Notes on the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Experience will be published and available on January 13th, 2025.
I can’t wait to share this project with the world.
Part 4: Personal Life/Relationship
Me and MJ had a long-distance relationship for the first 12 months that we knew each other.
It’s funny because now when we experience challenges in our life together, we often laugh and think about nothing has really been harder than the 12 months of FaceTime dates, waiting to see each other next, and constantly flying all over the country to make it work.
When we met, I didn’t have a home. I was planning to move to Austin to chase my Jiu-Jitsu dream and I was ghostwriting dating blogs for $250 per pop to pay for it all. I’m honestly lucky that she saw anything in me.
In February, we went to Europe together.
In March, she got her blue belt. In April, after a year of long-distance, she moved out to Texas with me. We packed the 2 dogs in her little car and drove from San Diego to Austin. It was a beautiful but very long drive.
I still had a few months left on my old lease, so despite spending every day together, we were technically living apart. A few weeks before ADCC, we officially moved in together. In the time between her arrival in Texas and my moving in, MJ started a new job, found a Jiu-Jitsu gym in town, and began to build her own life here in Austin.
At first, I thought that living with my girlfriend was going to be hard — not because of her but because it was a change. While there have been occasional challenges, the truth is that it’s way better living with her than it ever was living by myself.
It’s kind of like having a sleepover with the person you love most every single night.
We’ve navigated the challenges, made sacrifices, laughed, cried, traveled the world together, and done so much. This year alone, we went to Croatia, Spain, Morocco, France, and tons of cities domestically, including Chicago, San Diego, Las Vegas, and several cities and towns in Texas. We drove from San Diego to Austin back in April with 2 dogs and no idea what was going to happen next.
Through all of this, the reason I know I am happy is because I feel the same sense of adventure at home with her that I used to have to fly across the world to get. Our lives complement each other as perfectly as possible.
I’ve also made many amazing friends this year from all over the world.
One of the coolest parts about training here in Austin is we are a Jiu-Jitsu hub, meaning there are always visitors coming in from everywhere.
Pretty much all my best friends are from Jiu-Jitsu these days, but what can I say — that’s pretty much all I do. Thanks to these amazing friends (new and old), I do feel that my faith in humanity has been restored a bit. It was slipping for a while.
Jiu-Jitsu is kind of crazy and sometimes it’s hard to see the good in it.
My closing advice to you on friendships and relationships is this:
The right people are easy to be around, but that doesn’t mean that life is going to always be easy while they’re around.
My goal for next year is to work more on having “hobbies”. My only real hobby right now is traveling and reading, but both of these things are also key supplemental parts of my careers in writing and Jiu-Jitsu. I travel for competitions and seminars and I read mostly to learn ideas that will allow me to write better.
A goal for 2025 is to build a hobby that doesn’t require a screen, a book, or a plane ticket.
Part 5: Mental Health
This year, I have had a lot of things to be excited about.
Competing in major tournaments, finishing the book, traveling to beautiful places, and much more.
However, I’ve also had plenty of things to freak out about, like maxing out my credit card, getting a high-stress ghostwriting job, dealing with injuries, and then ending the year trying to lose 23 pounds in 5 weeks. 2024 was a doozy at times.
At times, I’ve felt more mentally strong than ever. At other times, I’ve felt weaker than ever — as if I’ve lost all of the progress that I made from years of working on myself.
Here are the 3 things that help me the most when I’m dealing with anxiety:
Journaling
I’ve been journaling since 2016 and I’ve kept a journal regularly since 2017.
I use a simple journaling method — the 10 morning thoughts. All I do is sit at my computer, pull up my Word document, and jot down 10 things I’m thinking and feeling. I try to do this before coffee because I don’t want ambition to cloud my journal — I want it to be raw. This simple habit takes 5-10 minutes and it gets me going for the day.
When I’m struggling with anxiety, I hit the journal hard for a few weeks. When I’m feeling lost, I revisit the journal.
Journaling is free therapy.
Going for walks.
There’s a reason why going for a walk is the best part of your dog’s day.
For me, a long walk decreases anxiety, prompts creativity, and brings me closer to my surroundings. I started really being disciplined with my walking habit in February when I would walk and listen to an audiobook every night, and now my girlfriend and I go for a pretty long walk every single night with our 2 dogs.
You need to be going for more walks in 2025.
Scheduling breaks.
My anxiety gets worse when I am overwhelmed and overworked.
Sometimes, you can just push through this, but often you can’t. Often, you need a day of sleeping in, eating well, resting, and probably going for a walk.
If your problem can’t be solved by writing about it, walking it out, or resting, you’ve probably got a good-sized problem and you need to ask for help.
I’ve had a few scheduled breaks in 2024:
After each of the ADCC Trials
After ADCC we went to France
After the last competition of the year, I’ve been taking a week to enjoy Texas with my family
People demonize taking breaks in our culture today. The truth is that taking a break makes you smarter, more focused, and more resilient to injury. It also increases your longevity in whatever you’re doing.
Just get ready for the first couple of days of your break to be tough as you adjust to not trying to squeeze “the best” out of every moment.
Closing Thoughts and Goals For 2025
So that’s what I’ve done and learned this year.
The goal for this year was to build stability, but in that process, there have been higher highs and lower lows than I have ever experienced. From the low of the city of Austin shutting my power off because I didn’t know I hadn’t paid the bill to the high of getting into ADCC to the low of amassing thousands of dollars of credit card to the high of paying it all off, it was a crazy year.
I had times when excitement made me unable to sleep and other times when anxiety kept me up all night long contemplating if I was going to make it out alive.
I did, and now it’s over. It’s time to focus on 2025.
Here are my main goals for next year:
Focus on strength in physical and mental fitness. In the early part of this year, I got really strong. I hit a 300-pound squat beltless for the first time. Then, I got injured a bunch and competed a ton and I focused more on fighting than strength. The goal for the early part of next year is to rebuild my physical and mental foundation with a focus on longevity, resilience, and durability.
Compete smarter. I love throwing myself into the fire of competition. However, this year, I competed a few times when I was underprepared. I will compete a good amount next year, but I want to focus more on quality (and quality preparation) than quantity. This also means I need to run smarter training camps for myself.
Earn my way to some of the bigger shows in pro Jiu-Jitsu. This year I’ve pretty much only competed in grueling tournaments. ADCC Trials, ADCC, PGF, and EBI. I don’t mind doing these tournaments, but I’d love to have some superfights this year. They’re fun, not as hard on the body, and typically on larger platforms. I am objectively more accomplished in competition and more exciting than many of the guys getting big match opportunities and I want the chance to prove that I belong on the big stages of the sport.
Finish the job. I came close to winning EBI, winning PGF, and winning a medal at ADCC. Next year my goal is to stop coming close and to start winning those big titles.
Build the Modern Writer. After nearly 5 years of obsessively writing online, one of my main writing goals is to share more writing education and insights. This is going to take up a lot of my time in the first quarter of the year which is also why I am taking a break from competing at least in January of 2025.
Work on new skills in multimedia. I’ve wanted to do podcasting and video to compliment all my writing but there’s always been too much going on. I want to begin experimenting with these mediums in 2025.
Travel less but when I do, go to places I want to go. I’ve been to a lot of places for Jiu-Jitsu. I love traveling, but I’ve come to hate spending all my time on the road. In 2024, I went on 18 trips — down 3 from last year but still a few too many. When I travel this coming year, I want to focus more on traveling to places that excite me instead of just going places because I have to go to because of “work”. In 2025, I’d like to visit South America, Australia, Mexico, and maybe even Portugal.
Get better at controlling my emotions. It’s a never-ending battle but as my competitions become more important and my personal life becomes more precious to me, it is essential that I become even more of a master of my mind.
Learn how to make croissants. What can I say? I love bread.
Take the next steps in my relationship. I’m happier than I have ever been. I can’t wait for what happens next.
Conducting a yearly review is one of the best “self-improvement” habits that you can adopt. It makes me more conscious of my actions, more focused on my goals, and there’s no better way to truly feel done with a year than to sit and reflect on it.
There are tons of ways to format your yearly review/reflection, but what’s been working best for me has been organizing and reflecting on the things in my life that are most important to me.
Here’s the best stuff I’ve “consumed” in 2024:
I consume a lot of stuff — food, music, newsletters, and more.
Here’s the best of the best:
My favorite newsletters:
WarKitchen by Rocky — Tasty food, pleasant aesthetics, and no BS diet philosophy — what’s not to like? WarKitchen is my favorite newsletter of the year and my favorite Instagram page. They’re probably the only Instagram page I actually look at often and were definitely my most opened newsletter of 2024. My favorite article: The Problem With Modern Weight Loss Advice
Unfiltered by Tim Denning — Last year, the best article I read online came from Tim. This year, I read nearly every article of his that landed in my inbox. My favorite article: One Year of Quiet Obsession Can Change Your Life Forever
Best books:
I didn’t read as many books this year (15 this year to 25 last year), but I spent a lot more time reading this year. I focused on classic fiction and read a lot of really long books.
Here are the top 3 books I read this year:
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig — I read this book during the marathon of ADCC camp and the weeks after. It was fitting for me and maybe it will be fitting for you if you’re struggling with yourself, your place, and what it all means. Best quote: “You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.”
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens — I “read” this book in high school but I couldn’t understand any of it and mostly used SparkNotes. I was nervous to try to read it again, but I’m glad I did. It’s one of the best works of fiction I have read to date. If you don’t want to read this book, just take the lesson of not being afraid to try books a second time. Best quote: “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke — This short book is a collection of 10 letters from Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke to Franz Kaver Kappu, who was 19 at the time and an aspiring poet. It’s poetic wisdom and writing advice that will probably teach you more about life than art, but isn’t that the point? I read this during one of the hardest periods of my life and it spoke to me both artistically and existentially. Best quote: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
A few favorite tweets:
“Become undefinable. Run a marathon one day, write an essay the next. Direct a short film, build an app, deadlift 500lbs, strategize a marketing campaign, or do whatever your curiosity draws you to. If you can be defined as "____," you face either competition or replacement.” — Dan Koe
“quit brainrot. unfollow trolls. read essays. go down rabbit holes. have a calendar. maintain a todo list. read old books. watch old movies. turn on dnd. walk with intent. eat without youtube. chew more. train without music. plan for 15 mins. execute. organise your desk. take something seriously. read ancient scripts. act fast. find bread. eat clean. journal. save a life. learn to code. read poetry. create art. stay composed. refine your speech. optimise for efficiency. act sincere. help people. be kind. stop doing things that waste your time. follow your intuition. craft reputation. learn persuasion. systemise your day (or don’t). write. write. write. write more. iterate violently. leave your phone at home. walk to the grocery store. talk to strangers. feed the dogs. visit bookstores. look for 1800s novels. experience art. then love. sit with a monk and offer them lunch. don't talk shit about people. embody virtue. sit alone. do something with your life. what do you want to create? turn off your mind. play. play a sport. combat sports. notice fonts in trees. fall in love. notice patterns on a table. visualise it. talk to people with respect. don't hate. be loving. be real. become yourself. cherrypick your qualities. discard the useless. rejections aren't permanent. invite what aligns. accept what does not. read great people. be different. choose different. do great work. let it consume you. lose your mind. value your time. experience life.” — A banger from @gaxrav
Favorite podcast episodes:
The I Suck at Jiu-Jitsu Show Episode 294 with Keenan Cornelius — Josh McKinney is a BJJ black belt and a fellow Midwestern grappler who I have a lot of respect for and Keenan was my favorite grappler as I was coming up in the ranks. This wide-ranging conversation on business, BJJ, and the meaning of “American Jiu-Jitsu” actually reignited my interest in podcasts.
Tim Denning Shows How He Quit His Job To Write Full Time — This podcast from Dan Koe (featuring Tim Denning) is from a few years ago, but when I want to learn something I typically just scour the internet and find the best podcast for what I’m after — even if it wasn’t recorded yesterday. This episode is a great story about building a writing career, finding your voice, and not giving up.
Favorite TV shows:
I wanted this section to include movies too, but I honestly wasn’t blown away by a movie in 2024. My favorite TV shows were:
Alpha Males — A Spanish comedy series about 4 friends and their attempt to “deconstruct” their masculinity. My girlfriend and I watched this show in Spain and it was silly and a great way to relax after going out for tapas and exploring.
100 Years of Solitude — This Colombian series came out a few weeks ago and we binged it in less than a week. If I hadn’t been traveling for EBI, we’d have finished it faster. I read the book 100 Years of Solitude this year, and I loved the series because of how accurate it is to the book and also the rustic, vintage feel that you get from old-time Macondo. I’m excited for when part 2 comes out.
Favorite musical albums:
Mt Joy by Mt Joy — My girlfriend and I saw Mt Joy in concert in Austin this fall and it was a blast. My favorite tracks are “Astrovan” and “Silver Lining”. Hopefully next year I find a song about gold to be my personal anthem.
By and By by Caamp — I pay a lot of attention to the music that keeps me going during hard times. This year, that was Caamp. Either way, the uplifting yet soft nature of their music helps me feel like is everything okay — even throughout all the craziness of this year.
Top culinary experiences:
Ciutat Comtal — This was our first meal in Spain, so it was extra special. Tapas (including seafood and a tiny cheeseburger), Estrella Damm (a Spanish beer), sangria, and some delicious churros for dessert. I loved Spain and this meal was the perfect welcome.
Steak and Frites in Paris — I tried to experience some different foods in France like Foie Gras, Veal, and different kinds of seafood, but by day 3, I was obsessed with gorging myself on the best quality steak, potatoes, wines, and whatever delicious dessert we could get. When I reminisce about France, I just think of food, wine, and quality time with the most important person in my life.
Top travel destinations:
Barcelona and Granada — Barcelona and Granada are the only cities I have visited in Europe that I could actually see myself living in. The architecture and food were incredible and the people in the city were extremely welcoming to us. Highlights of Barcelona include Basílica de la Sagrada Família, a day trip to Girona, and wandering La Rambla. In Granada, visit The Alhambra, hike a mountain, and enjoy the scenery. When you’re done make like Anthony Bourdain and find a bar that has free tapas.
The French Riviera — We spent 4 days in the French Riviera and it wasn’t enough. We saw Nice, Monaco, Eze, and Villefranche-Sur-Mer. Incredible food, perfect bread, gorgeous beaches, and it’s dead easy to get from place to place. We must go back. Did I mention the bread?
And those are the highlights from 2024.
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